【选文②】Frommyperspective,familyvaluesareoafamily。*Theyakeusbehaveusformsomepreciousqualities,suesty,warm-hearted,goodtemperandsoon。【陈文玉,2分+15分】
【润色②】Frommyperspective,familyvaluesareoafamily。…sugho,warm-heartedemperandsoon。
【独立写作】___________________________
【小组展评】___________________________
【全员评议】___________________________
(2)你们家的价值观是什么?
【指导说明】首先重新阅读短文中有关“价值观”的内容,从中找出相关的价值观填入表格,然后拓展相应的价值观,根据“主题句+支撑句”的写作模式,对范文和选文进行鉴赏、对比、评议和纠错,最后围绕“讲述自己的家庭价值观”展开写作。
【范文鉴赏】Myfamilyvaluesedbymymother。*Asachild,shealwaysremiobepundtoworkharder。Buthergreatestgiftwasteagmetheimportanesty。ShetaughtmethatmistakesinlifewereuIshouldneversacrifiestytoistakes。
【范文润色】范文有错误。…Asachild,shealwaysremiobepundtoworkharder。润色为:AsWhenIwasachild,shealwaysremindedme…harder。句中的she是指mymother,从asachild来看,child应该是指代I并非mymother。
【选文①】*Ourfamilyvaluesarevariousthatfamiliesshouldrespeestwitheachotherandweshouldhelpeachotherwheni'smore,familiesshouldbealaoptimisticattitudetowardslife。【姚嘉欣,3分+14分】
【润色①】Ourfamilyvaluesaresovariousthatmyfamilymembersaledarehoher。Wehelpeachotherwheni'smore,themembersarealinganoptimisticattitudetowardslife。
【选文②】*Asformyfamily,theyalwaysaskmetobeaandgratefulmanaswellasshowrespecttoothers。What'smore,theyalsoadmirepeoplewhoalwayslendahandtoothersinneed。
【润色②】Asformyfamily,theyalwaysaskmetobeaandgratefulmanaswellasshowrespecttoothers。What'smore,myfamilyalsoadmirepeoplewhoalwayslendahandtoothersinneed。
【独立写作】___________________________
【小组展评】___________________________
【全员评议】___________________________
(3)请以你个人的经历说明你们家的价值观对你的影响。
【指导说明】首先针对写作要点寻找最佳句式表达,然后根据“主题句+支撑句”的写作模式,对范文和选文的语言进行鉴赏、对比、评议和纠错,最后采取“叙述+结论”的方式进行写作。
【范文鉴赏】Hoyhasbeenwithmeeversinmydailylife,I'malwayswillingtoadmittoerrorsaendtobeall-knowing。That'swhymanyfrieomeforhelp。TheyknowI'llbestraight-forwardahetruth,notoheywanttohear。Asmymothersaid,“Whenwe'rehohers'trustay'scredit。”
【选文】Underourfamilyvalues,Ibe。OnceIfailedtheexamaverysad。Wheurnedhomemyparentsdidn'tblameme,buteaobeoptimistiethattomorrowwillbebetter,andthenIrefreshedandinsistedhardtimisticattitude。Finally,Isuilyvalueisimportantforeveryone。【姚嘉欣,3分+14分】
【润色】Underourfamilyvalues,…Ifeltverysad。When…eaobeoptimistie…andthenIrefreshedmyselfand…timisticattitude。Finally,Isucceeded。Obviously,agoodfamilyvalueisimportantforeveryone。
【独立写作】___________________________
【小组展评】___________________________
【全员评议】___________________________
任务7:阅读选文,欣赏与评议。
阅读下列读写任务试卷中的选文佳作,运用概括和要点表达等程序分析、评议和润色该作品,并重新评分。
*Familyvaluesisofgreatimportaobehavepolitely,holdthefamiliestogetherwhenindifficulties,createoodquality。*Itwillgeassdeogeion。
*Ifirmlysupporttheviewabouttheauthorsay。Familyvaluesplayanimportantpartiwillmakeaninfluenusdeeply。Whatwedoandhowwedoisbasedonourfamilyvalues。*Itteachesushoersonaely。Sofamilyvaluesareveryvitalforus。
&familyvaluesvaryfromfamilytofamily。Buttheyareeffedusefultofamilymembers。Myfamilyvalueishoy。*Everymembersinourhomeshouldbehoallowedtotellalie。Becauseitischeatedbehavior。WhenIwasachild,Iwastaughttobehoonow,Istillobeythevalue。*Myparentsexplaiyisaimportantfasodalsoimportanttomakefriends。*Nomatterwhoyoueacross,youaresupposedtohoaalongwithhim。
*Iamnowhavemahankstomyfamilyvalue,itmademelearohoomakefrieellliestothem。*Somyfriendsarebelievemeandwillingtomakefriendswithme。Theyregardedmeareliablefriendasaloyalguard。*Myfamilyvalueeoformahabitofellalie。
【选文作者介绍】江欣欣在广州市英语“二测”中全卷得分114。5分,加上高考听说成绩12分(听说满分为15分),她的总得分为126。5分。她的“二测”完形填空26分(满分30分),阅读48(满分50分),基础写作13(满分15分),读写任务17分(满分25分),其中概括得2分(满分5分),正文得15分(满分20分)。
【首段润色】Familyvaluesareofgreatimportaobehavepolitely,holdthefamiliestogetherwhenindiffidcreateoodquality。Theywillgeassdeogeion。