TextBToSetOurHouseinOrder
MargaretLaurence
[1]Whenthebabywasalmostreadytobeborhiwrongandmymointohospitaltwoweeksbeforetheexpectedtime。Iwaswakenedbyherthenight,andthenIheardmyfather’sfootstepsashewentdohooodinthedoorwayofmyroandlistening,wantingtogotomymotherbutafraidtogolesttherebesomesighttheremthatIcouldbear。
[2]“Hello—Paul?”myfathersaid,andIkalkingtoDr。Cates。“It’sBeth。Thewatershavebrokealpositioseemquite—well,I’monlythinkingofeime,ahatwouldbe—Iwishshewerealittlehuskier,damnit—she’sso—no,don’tworry,I’mquiteallright。Yes,Ithinkthatwouldbethebestthing。Okay,makeitassoonasyou,willyou?”
[3]Hecamebackupstairs,lookingbonyanddisheveledinhispyjamas,andrunninghisfihroughhissathetopofthestairs,hecamefacetofacewithGrandmotherMacLeod,whowasstandingthereiedbladressingghtfigureheldstraightahoughshewereuherhairwasboundgrotesquelylikewhite-featheredwingsinthesnareofheright-timehair。
[4]“Whatisit,Ewen?”
[5]“It’sallright,Mother。Beth’shaving—alittletrouble。I’mgoiothehospital。Yougobacktobed。”
[6]“Itoldyou,”GrandmotherMacLeodsaidinherclearvoieverloud,butdistingiapteaspooblet,“Ididtellyou,Ewen,didInot,thatyoushouldhavegotagirlintohelpherwiththehousework?Shewouldhaverestedmore。”
[7]“I’taffetanyonein,”myfathersaid。“Ifyouthoughtsheshouldhaverestedmore,whydidn’tyod,I’moutofmymindtonight—justgobaother,please。ImustgetbacktoBeth。”
[8]WhedowdoortoletDr。,myneedovercamemyfearandIslippedintomyparents’room。Mymother’sblackhair,solypinnedupduringtheday,wasstartlinglyspreadacrossthewhitepillowcase。Istaredather,notspeaking,andthenshesmiledahedoorwayandburiedmyheaduponher。
[9]“It’sallright,honey,”shesaid,“Listehebaby’sjustgoileearly,that’sall。You’llbeallright。GrandmotherMacLeodwillbehere。”
[10]“Howshegetthemeals?”Iwailed,fixihingthatind。“Shenevercooks。Shedoesn’tknowhow。”
[11]“Yes,shedoes,”mymothersaid。“Shecookaswellasanyonewheo。She’sjustoverymuch,that’sall。Don’tworry—she’llkeepeverythihensome。”
[12]MyfatherandDr。Cates,andIhadtogo,withanythingIhadwaosay。Iwentbaandlaywiththeshadowsallarouemurmuringsthatalwayswentoninthathouse,soundswhieverhadasource,raftersarathedryair,perhaps,ormithewalls,orasparrowthathadflowhroughthebrokenskylightthere。Afterawhile,althoughIwouldnothavebelieveditpossible,Islept。
[13]ThemIquestioher。IbelievedhimtobenotoorinManawaka,butalsothebestdothewholeofManitoba,ifireworld,ahathewasnottheonewhowaslookiherseemedtohavesomethiit。
[14]“Butit’salwaysdoway,Vanessa,”heexplaiorseheirownfamily。It’sbecausetheyu,yousee,and—”
[15]“Andwhat?”Iinsisted,alarmedatthewayhehadbrokenoff。Butmyfatherdidoodthere,ahatdifficultsmilewithwhichadultsseektofrom。Ifeltterrified,andrantohimaightly。
[16]“She’sgoingtobefine,”hesaid。“Holysheis。Nessa,don’tcry—”
[17]GrandmotherMacLeodappearedbesideus,steel-spieherapparentfragility。Sheurplesilkdressandherivorypendant。Shelookedasthoughshewereallreadytogooutforafternoontea。
[18]Summerholidayswerenotquiteover,butIdidnotfeellikegoingouttoplaywithanyofthekids。Iwasverysuperstitious,andIhadthefeelingthatifIleftthehouse,evenforafewhours,somedisasterwouldovertakemymother。Ididnot,ofentiooGrandmotherMacLeod,forshedidheexistenceoffear,ofifshedid,sheohemmorbidlyinseekinghiddehehouse。Thereweremanyofthese-odd-shapedairs,smallandlooselynailed-updoorsatthebackofclothesclosets,leadingtodustytunnelsandfotteheheartofthehousewheretheonlythingsactuallytobeseenaintiherafters,andtrunksfullofoutmodedgandoldphotographalbums。Buttheunseehesesecretplaewtobethoseofeveryperson,youngorold,whedtothehouseandhaddied,incleRotkilledontheSomme,andthebabywhowouldhavebeenmysisterifonlyshehadmaoetolife。GrandfatherMacLeod,whohaddiedayearafterIwasborhehouseiathetopofthemainstairshuhpictureofadarklyuniformedmanridinguponahorsewhstanddilatednestedthatthebattlewashatitmightiiilJudgmeernmanwasactuallytheDukeofWellington,butatthetimeIbelievedhimtobemygrandfatherMacLeod,stillkeepihing。
[19]WehadmovedinwithGrandmotherMatheDepressiongotbadandsheolongeraffordahousekeeper,buttheMacLeodhouseneverseemedlikehometome。ItsdarkredbrickwasgrowhefrontwithVirgiurnedthefall,untilyoucouldhardlytellbrileaves。ItboastedasmalltowerinwhiacLeodkeptaweedyofaheverandahwasembellishedrofusiht-ironsdthecircularrose-windowupstairsedglassofmanycolorswhichpermittedanout-lookihelaceofabsolutesapphireoremerald,orifoolookwithajauefulyellow。InGrandmotherMacLeod’sopiuresgavethehousestyle。
[20]Iudeofdoorsledtoroomswheremypreseactuallyforbidden,wasned。OnewasGrandmotherMacLeod’sbedroom,withitsstaleandold-smellingairs,thedimreekofmedidlaves。Hereresidedhermonogrammeddressersilver,brushandmirror,tonhookandsoneofwhichmustevenbefingeredbymenow,forshemeahemtomeinherwillaohandthemoverinthesameflawlessaioninwhichtheyhadalwaysbeeoo,werethesilver-framedphotographsofUncleRoderick—asachild,asaboy,asamaninhisArmyuniform。Themassiveoolbedhadobviouslybeendesignedforqueensiants,andmytinygraoliewithinitalldaywhenshehadmigrairiviolooklikeagiantqueen。
[21]ThelivingroomwasaerritorywhereIhadtotreadwarily,formanyvaluableobjectssatjust-soontablesandmantelpieddirtmustraupontheblueesecarpetwithitsbirdsiioanditswater-lilybudscaughtforeverjustbeforethepointofopening。MymotherwasalwaysnervouswhenIwasinthisroom。
[22]“Vanessa,honey,”shewouldsay,halfapologetically,“whydon’tyougoandplayintheden,orupstairs?”