TextATheOffice
Aliro
(PartI)
[1]ThesolutiontomylifeoeoneeveningwhileIwasironingashirt。Itlebutaudacious。IwentintothelivingroomwheremyhusbandwaswatgtelevisionandIsaid,“IthinkIoughttohaveanoffice。”
[2]Itsouie。WhatdoIwantanofficefor?Ihaveahouse;itispleasantandroomyandhasaviewofthesea;itprovidesappropriateplacesfandsleeping,andhavingbathsaionswithone’sfriends。AlsoIhaveagarden;thereisnolackofspace。
[3]No。Buthereesthedisclosurewhioteasyforme:Iamawriter。Thatdoesnht。Toopresumptuous,phony,oratleastung。Tryagaibetter?Itrytowrite。Thatmakesitworse。Hypocriticalhumility。Wellthen?
[4]Itdoesn’tmatter。HoweverIputit,thewordscreatetheirspaceofsileemomentofexposure。Butpeoplearekind,thesilenceisquicklyabsorbedbythesolicitudeoffriendlyvvariouslyhoodforyou,aisintriguing。Andwhatdoyouwrite?Theyihspirit。Fi,Ireply,bearingmyhumiliationbythistimewithease,eveionofflippancy,whiotalwaysmine,andagain,agaiibleayaresmoothedoutbysuchreadyandtactfulvoices—whichhavehoweverexhaustedtheirstosolatoryphrases,andly,“Ah!”
[5]SothisiswhatIwantanofficefor(Isaidtomyhusband):towritein。Iwasatosoundedlikeafi,apieceofrareself-ie,aseveryoneknowsyouypewriter,oratleastapenepaper,atableandchair;Ihaveallthesethingsinanybedroom。ButnowIwantanofficeaswell。
[6]AndIwashatIwasgoingtowriteinit,ifweedowntothat。MaybeIwouldsitahewall;eventhatprospeotuome。ItwasreallythesoundofthewordsofficethatIliked,itssoundofdignityandpeadpurposefulnessandimportaIdidionthistomyhusband,soIlaueadintoahigh-flowio,asIremember,likethis。
[7]Ahouseisallrightforamantoworkin。Hebringshisworkintothehouse,aplaceisclearedforit;thehesitselfasbestit。Everybhisworkexists。Heisoaelephoofindthingsthatarelost,toseewhytheareg,orfeedtheshuthisdine(Isaid)amherdoor,andtheknowingsheisbehindit;why,theverythoughtofitiseoustothem。Awomanwhositsstaringioatrythatisnotherhusband’sorher’sislikewiseknowntobeanature。Soahouseisnotthesameforawomasomeonewhowalksiomakeuseofit,andwillwalkoutagaihehouse;thereisionpossible。
[8]“Goahead,ifyoudoneough,”isallmyhusbandhadtosay。Heisnotlikeme;hedoesexplanations。Thattheheartofanotherpersonisaethingyouwillhearhimsayfrequently,andwithret。
&henIdidnotthinkitwassomethingthatcouldbeaplished。Perhapsatbottomitseemedtometooimproperawishtobegranted。Ioreeasilyhavewishedforaminkondhesearethiain。The,learningofmyplahemwiththemostdashiiduhelessIwentdowntotheshoppierwhichistwoblowhereIlive;thereIhadnoticedforseveralmonths,andwithoutthinkinghowtheycouldpertaintome,acoupleairswindowsofabuildingthathstoreayparlor。AsIweairsIhadafeelingofpleteuy;surelyrentinglicatedbusihecaseofoffices;youdidnotsimplyknothedoorofthevatpremisesandwaittobeadmitted;itwouldhavetobedhels。Also,theywouldwanttoomuey。
。。。
[10]TheroomasevidentlyabinationlivingroomahefirstthingsInoticedweremodelsofships—galleons,clippers,QueenMarys—sittiables,thewindowsills,thetelevisioherewerenoshipstherewerepottedplantsandaclutterofwhataresometimescalled“masents—a,deerheads,breashtraysofheavy,veined,shihewallshotographsandwhatmighthavebeendiplomas。Ooshooodleandabulldog,dressedinmasdfemihing,andassumingwithdismalembarrassmentaposeofaffe。Writtenacrossitwas“OldFriends”。Buttheroomwasreallydominatedbyaportrait,withitsownlightandagildedframe;itwasofagood-looking,fair-hairedmanitingbehindadesk,wearingabusiandlookilyprosperous,rosyandagreeable。Hereagain,itisprobablyhindsightonmypartthatpointsoutthatithereisevidentalsosomeuneasiness,somelackoffaiththemanhasinthisrole,ateospreadhimselftoobountifullyaly,whichforallanyoneknowsmayleadtodisaster。
[11]heMalleys。AssoonasIsawthatoffitedit。ItwaslargerthanIneeded,beingdividedinsuchawaythatitwouldbesuitableforadoctor’soffice。(raherebutheleft,saysMrs。Malleyifulbutunihewallsweredbare,whitewithalittlegraytocuttheglarefortheeyes。Siherewerenodoevidenorhadbeen,asMrs。Malleyfreelytoldme,forsometime,Iofferedtwenty-fivedollarsamonth。Shesaidsheeaktoherhusband。
[12]TheimeIcamemyreedupon,aMr。Malleyintheflesh。Iexplained,asIhadalreadydoohiswife,thatIdidnotwanttomakeuseofmyularbusinesshours,butduringtheweekendsaimesintheeveniIwoulduseitfor,andItoldhim,notwithfirstwhetherIoughttosayIdidstenography。
[13]Heabsorbedtheinformationwithgoodhumor。“Ah,you’reawriter。”
[14]“Wellyes。Iwrite。”
[15]“Thenwe’lldoourbesttoseeyou’refortablehere,”hesaidexpansively。“I’magreatmanforhobbiesmyself。Alltheseshipmodels—Idothemihey’reablessingforthenerves。Peopleneedanofortheirnerves。Idaresayyou’rethesame。”
[16]“Somethingthesame,”Isaid,resolutelyagreeable,evehesawmybehaviorinthishazyalight。Atleasthedidnotaskme,asIhalfexpected,whowaslookihe,anddidmyhusbaenyears,maybefifteeened,spread,ahemaure。Hishipsandthighshadnacoffat,ghimtomovewithasigh,aysettlingofflesh,aporiarfort。Hishairandeyeshadfaded,hisfeaturesblurred,andtheaffable,predatoryexpressionhadcollapsediroublinghumilityandistrust。Ididnotlookathim。Ihadakingaakeontheresponsibilityofknowinganymorehumanbeings。
[17]Ontheweekehoutthehelpofmyfamily,whowouldhavebeenkind。Ibroughtmytypewriterandacardtableandchair,alsoalittlewoodentableonwhichIsetahotplate,akettle,ajarofinstantcoffee,spoon,andayellowmug。Thatwasall。Ibroodedwithsatisfathebarenessofmywalls,theityofmyessentialfurnishings,theremarkablelagstodust,olish。
[18]ThesightwasoMr。Malley。HeknoydoorsoonafterIwassettledandsaidthathewaoexplaihiuhelightierroom,whichIwouldtheradiatorandhowtoworktheawnihewindow。Helookedarouhingwithgloomandmystifidsaiditwasanawfullyunfortableplaceforalady。
[19]“It’sperfectlyallrightforme,”Isaid,notasdisglyasIwouldhavelikedto,becauseIalwayshaveateoplaIdislikefoodreason,orsimplydonotwanttokesofcourtesysometimes,inthefoolishhopethattheywillgoawayandleavemealone。
[20]“Whatyouwantisaniceeasychairtositinwhileyforinspirationtohit。I’vegotai,allkindsofstuffdowntheresiherpassedohere’sabitofcarpetrolledupihere;itisn’tdoinganybodyanygood。Wecouldgetthisplacefixedupsoit’dbealotmorehome-likeforyou。”
[21]“Butreally,”Isaid,“butreallyIlikeitasitis。”
[22]“Ifyouwaoruains,I’dpayyouforthematerial。Plaeedsatouafraidyou’llgetmorbidsittinginhere。”
[23]“Oh,no,”Isaid,andlaughed,“I’msureIwon’t”。
[24]“It’dbeadifferentstoryifyouwereaman。Awomanwantsthingsabitcozier。”
[25]SoIgotupahewindowandlookeddowySuhroughtheslatsoftheVeianblind,toavoidtheagvulyofhisfatfadItriedoutacoldvoicethatistobeheardfrequentlyinmythoughtsbuthasgreatdifficultygettingoutofmyouth。“Mr。Malley,pleasedon’tbothermeaboutthisanymore,Isaiditsuitsme。IhaveeverythingIwant。Thanksfmeaboutthelight。”
[26]Theeffectwasdevastatioshameme。“Ilywouldheringyou,”hesaid,withpreofspeedaloofsadness。“Imerelymadethesesuggestionsforyourfort。HadIrealizedIwasinyourway,Iwouldhaveleftsometimeago。”Whenhehadgoer,evenalittleexhilaratedatmyvicthstillashamedofhoweasyithadbeen。Itoldmyselfthathewouldhavehadtobediscedsooer,itwasbettertohaveitoverwithatthebeginning。
。。。
[1968]
Notes
Aliro(1931-present):Sheisaporaryshortstoryinsthe2013NoblePrizeLiteratureawardandhasalsowonmulti-awardsnationallyaionally。Muablishedheriioiohegreatestporarywritersoffiwithherfrequentthemegfemaledilemmasihandfollowingstagesoflife。TheOfficeisseleherearlyofshortstoriesDaheHappyShades(1968),whichgeneral’sAwardforFi。
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