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●General Guidelines for Guests（第1页）

●GeneralGuidelinesfuests

&hearelativeorfriehefirstthingyouwillodoistoextendyoursympathyaaeverwayyou。Itisodealwiththeemotioisimportahefamilyknowthattheyareheirlovedoneisgone。

■ExpressingSympathy

Ifyouareafamilymemberorclosefriendofthefamilyofthedeceased，payavisittotheirhometoexpressyoursympathyandofferyourhelp。

Itisalwaysbesttoexpressyoursympathyinasimpleahefamilyreciateasincereexpressionofcethoughitisbrief。“I’msorry”and“I’msosorrytohearofyourloss”arethemostonlyusedexpressions，andofcoursetheyshouldbedeliveredinasympatheticerevoice。Ifyouareatedwiththedeceased，itisofteosayso:“Mikewillbemissedbyeveryone”or“Ialwaysikeasagoodfriend”。Kindwordsarealreciated。

Asmostpeoplemayfialossforwordsinthiscase，itisadvisabletofollowtheleadofthefamilymembers。Iftheywanttotalkaboutthedeceased，lendanearaesofyourtime。Beingagoodlistesolaprovideforthem。

Youdoayfthyperiodoftimewhenattendingghours。Justfollowyourinstinctsastohowlongtostay。Ifthedeceasedwasagoodfriend，youmayfeelitostaylonger，expressingyrief，andpayiothefamilyatthesametime。Ifitisthefirsttimeyoumeetthefamily，introduceyourselfahemknowhowyouareectedtotheirlovedone。Co-workersandcolleaguesofthedeceasedmayattendghether，butavoiddesthebereavedalltogether。Eaayofferindividualsympathyandawordortwoofsupport，suchas“Iamsosorryforyourloss”，ameknowifthereisanythingIdotohelp”。

Ifyouareioofferassistahfoodgifts，orchildcare，upout-of-towives，dosobyallmeauresarethoughtfulandinvaluable。Sudden，icdeaths，maybesoemoti，yourassistahebereavedwillbeloedahecaseoftheelderlywomanormanwhohaslostaspouseandmaynothaveclosebytoattendtotheirneeds，alendinghandortatierrandsmaketheordealsomucheasieronthem。

Manytimesfuneralsbeeaplaemories。Visitorsareealkabouttheirmemoriesofthedeesthefamilylearhingsabouttheirlovedoheydidn’tknowbefore!tthesomberatmosphereofafuing，sharingstoriesandlaughteralizetheodactuallyhelpeasethepain。Sorrowisanindividualsuffering，butjoyfulstoriessharedfreelymakethegriefeasiertobear。

&hereisnosubstituteforapersonalvisitifyouareabletodoso，thereareanumberofwaysyouexpressyoursympathy。

◇PhoneCalls。Calltoofferdsupport。Butkeepanycallsbrief。

◇Flowers。Itisaomtosendafloraltributeinmanytraditiohersendingtothefuhefamily’sresidehefamilyasksthatdonationsshouldbemadeinlieuofflowers，youshouldhonorthatrequest。

◇Memifts。Usuallythefamilywilldesignateaspecifiizationorcharity。Remembertoprovidethefamily’snameaheydpropernotifi。

◇SympathyCard。Thosewhoarenotihefamilyusuallyessageofsympathyinacard。Thisisreendedasmadifficulttoaecallsimmediatelyafterthehedeath。

◇FoodfortheFamily。Dishesthatrequirelittlepreparatioappropriate。

■The>

Alacebeforetheaeralservidisusuallyheldintheevening。Ifyouakeittothefuisagoodopportunitytoeandsupportthedeceased’sfamily。Thewakemaybeheldinsomeohefuneralparlor。Whenyouarrive，firstofferyoursympathytfamily。Thisisthereasonforthewake，really。Thefamilygetitallhtinsteadofhavingpetheircesatwork，atthegym，andatthegrocerystore—overandover，ihey’dratheribadhitthemlikeatonofbricks。

Ifthecasketispresetostandbyit，sayihinkingofthedeceased’slife。Thenyoumaymiheuests。Youdoaytoolong—justloomakeyourpreseandpayyourrespects。Besuretosigerwithyournameandaddressbeforeyouheadout，asthefamilymaywishtolookitoverlaterandorsendyouahanks。

■TheFuneralService

Funeralservicesdifferdependingonthepersiousbeliefsofthefamily。Hardlessofthetypeoffuneralyouareattendingtherearesomeoiquette。