TextBTheLostChildhood
GrahamGreene
&isonlyinchildhoodthatbookshaveanydeepinfluenourlives。Inlaterlifeweadmire,weareeained,wemaymodifysomeviewswealreadyhold,butwearemorelikelytofindinbooksmerelyaationofwhatisinourmindsalready:asinaloveaffairitisourowweseereflectedflatteringlyback。
Butinchildhoodallbooksarebooksofdivination,tellingusaboutthefuture,auellerwhoseesalohecardsordeathbywatertheyiure。Isupposethatiswhybooksexcitedussomuch。Whatdetnowadaysfrtoequaltheextaiofourteenyears?OfcourseIshouldbeiohearthatanewnovelbyMr。E。M。Foihisspring,butIeverparethatmildexpeofcivilizedpleasurewiththemissedheartbeat,theappalledgleeIfeltwhenIfoundonalibraryshelfanard,PercytaianleyWeymanwhiotreadbefore。No,itisinthoseearlyyearsthatIwouldlookforthecrisis,themomeookainitsjouro>
IrememberdistinctlythesuddehwhichakeyturnedinalodIfoundIcouldread—notjustthesentenareadingbookwiththesyllablescoupledlikerailwaycarriages,butarealbook。Iter-coveredwiththepictureofaboy,boundandgagged,danglingattheendofaropeihewaterrisihewaist—aureofDixoective。AllalongsummerholidayIkeptmysecret,asIbelieved:IdidnotwantanybodytoknowthatIcouldread。IsupposeIhalfsciouslyrealizedevehiswasthedangerousmoment。IwassafesolongasIotread—thewheelshadurn,buturestoodaroundonbookshelveseverywherewaitiochoose—thelifeofacharteredatperhaps,aialcivilservant,aplanterina,asteadyjobinabank,happinessauallyoiofdeath,forsurelywechooseourdeathmuchaswechrowsoutofouradourevasions,outofourfearsandoutofourmomentse。Isupposemymothermusthavedisysecret,foronthejourneyhomeIresehetrainwithanotherrealbook,acopyofBallaheCoralIslandwithonlyasiuretolookat,acoloredfroIwouldadmitnothing。Alltheloaredattheoureandhebook。
Butthereohome(somanyshelvesfefamily)thebookswaited—onebookinparticular,butbeforeIreaedowakeafewothersatrandomfromtheshelf。Eachwasawhichthechilddreamedthathesawlifemoving。HereiampeddramatiseveralcolorstainGilsoeAeroplahavereadthatbooksixtimesatleast—thestoryofalostcivilizationintheSaharaandofavillaielanelikeaboxkiteandbombsthesizeoftennisballswhoheldthegolden。Itwassavedbythehero,ayoungsubalterothepiratecamptoputtheaeroplaofa。Heturedandwatchedhisenemiesdighisgrave。HewastobeshotatdaassthetimeandkeephismindfromunfortablethoughtstheamiableYaeplayedcardswithhim—themildnurserygameofKuhnKahatnameontheedgeoflifehauntedmeforyears,uorestatlastinoneofmyowhagameofpokerplayedielysimilarces。
AndhereisSophyofKravoniabyAnthooryofakit-maidwhobecameaqueehefirstfilmsIeversaw,about1911,wasmadefromthatbook,andIhearstilltherumbleoftheQueen’sgunsgthehighKravoniaenhollowlyoutofasiheaheStoryofFrancisCludde,aherbooksatthattimeofmylifeKingSolomon’sMines。
Thisbookdidnotperhapsprovidethecrisis,butitlyiure。IfithadhatromantictaleofAllanQuartermaiis,Good,aheachGagool,wouldIat19havestudiedtheappoioftheialOffidverynearlypitheNigerianNavyforadlater,whensurelyIoughttohavekheoddAfrifixationremained。In1935Ifoundmyselfsickwithfeveronacampbediive’shutwithadlegoingoutiywhiskybottleandaratmovingintheshadows。Wasn’tittheiionofGagoolwithherbareyellowskull,thewrihatmovedandtractedlikethehoodofacobra,thatledmetoworkallthrough1942iuffyoffiFreetown,SierraLeomuohelandoftheKukuahedesertaainrangeofSheba’sBreast,andatin-roofedhouseonabitofswherethevulturesmovedlikedomesticturkeysandthepi-dogskeptmeawakeonmoonlightnightswiththeirwailing,aewomeheclub,butthetwobeloahesamet,aly,tothesameregioiioy,ofnotknowingthewayabout。OleoGagoolaters,oinZigitaontheLiberiaheFreneaborder,whessatieredhutwiththeirhaheireyesaadrumaayedbehindcloseddoorswhilethebigbushdevil—whomitwouldmeaosee—movedbetwees。
ButKingSolomon’sMinesotfinallysatisfy。Itwasahekeydid。GagoolIcshewaitformeindreamseverynightinthepassagebythelinencupboard,henurserydoor?Sheuestowait,whenthemindissickhnowsheisdressediheologitsofDespairandspeaksinSpenser’sats:
Theloethegreatersin。
&ersierpu。
Yes,Gagoolhasremaipartoftheimagination,butQuartermainandCurtis—weren’tthey,evenwhenIwasonlytenyearsold,alittletoogoodtobetrue?Theyweremenofsuyieldiheywouldonlyadmittoafaultioshowhowitmightbeovere)thattheersonalityofachildotrestfaialshoulders。Achild,afterall,knowsmostofthegame—itisonlyahathelacks。Heisquitewellawareofcowardice,shame,de,disappoi。SirHenryCurtisperarogfromadozenwoundsbutfightingoainstthehordesofTwalawastooheroic。ThesemenwerelikePlatoheywerenotlifeasonehadalreadybeguntoknowit。
ButsIwasfourteenbythattime—ItookMissMarjorieBowen’sTheViperofMilanfromthelibraryshelf,thefutureforbetterorworsereallystruomeowrite。AlltheotherpossiblefuturesslidaotentialcivilservaheclerkhadtolookforotherinitatioionofMissBowen’smagoexercisebooks—storiesof16th-turyItalyor12th-glahenormousbrutalityandadespairingromanticism。ItwasasifIhadbeensuppliedondforallwithasubject。
Why?OnthesurfaceTheViperofMilanisooryofawarbetweenGianGaleazzoVisti,DukeofMilan,andMastinodellaScala,DukeofVerona,toldwithzestanddanamazingpictorialsense。Whydiditanddexplaierriblelivingworldofthestoairsadormitory?ItwasnogoodinthatrealworldtodreamthatonewouldeverbeaSirHenryCurtis,butdellaScalawhoatlastturnedfromaneverpaidarayedhisfriendsanddieddishonouredandafailureevewaseasierforachildtoesdhismask。AsforVisti,withhisbeauty,hispatiendhisgeniusforevil,Ihadwatchedhimpassbymanyatimeinhisbladaysuitsmellingofmothballs。Hiser。Heexercisedterrorfromadistancelikeasnowcloudovertheyoungfields。Goodnesshasonlyondaperfeationinahumanbodyandneverwillagain,butevilalwaysfihere。Humabladwhitebutbladgrey。IreadallthatinTheViperofMilanandIlookedroundandIsawthatit>
&herthemeIfouheendofTheViperofMilan—youwillrememberifyouhaveo—esthegreatspletesuccess—dellaScalaisdead,Ferrara,Verona,Novara,Mantuahaveallfallen,themessengerspourinwithnewsoffreshvictories,thewholeworldoutsideisgup,andVistisitsahewi。IwasnotontheclassicalsideorIwouldhavediscovered,Isuppose,iureinsteadofinMissBowehesenseofdoomthatliesoversuccess—thefeelingthatthependulumisabouttoswing。Thattoomadesense;onelookedaroundandsawthedoomedeverywhere—therunnerwhoonedaywouldsagoverthetape;theheadoftheschoolwhooordevil,duringfortydrearyundistinguishedyears;thescholar。。。andwhensuctotoueselftoo,howevermildly,onelypraythatfailurewouldnotbeheld。
Onehadlivedforfourteenyearsinawildjury,buthshadbeeurallyoofollowthem。ButIthinkitwasMissBoaremademewanttowrite。Oneotreadherwithoutbelievingthattowritewastoliveandtoenjoy,andbeforeonehaddisistakeitwastoolate—thefirstbookonedoesenjoy。Anywayshehasgiveern—religionmightlaterexplaiherterms,butthepatterhere—perfectevilwalkingtheworldwhereperfectgoodeverwalkagain,andonlythepehatafteralliiaisfied,andoftehatmyhandhadherthanKingSolomohatthefutureIhadtakendownfromthenurseryshelfhadbeenadistrictoffiSierraLeooursofmalarialdutyandafinishingdoseofblackwaterfeverwhenthedaapproached。Whatisthegoodofwishing?Thebooksarealwaysthere,themomentofcrisiswaits,andnowouriurakingdowureahepages。InhispoemGermie:
Ishadowsandtwilights
Wherechildhoodhadstrayed
Thewreatsorrowswereborn
Anditsheroes>
IboyhoodofJudas
Christ>
1。Discussthefollowiionswithyourpartner。
1)Inwhatsenseareallbooksofdivinationfor?WhatdoesGreenemeanby“civilizedpleasure”and“themissedheartbeat”?
2)Whatfigureofspeechisemployediurnedinalod“thewheelshadurn”inParagraph3?Whatdotheymean?
3)Whydidanybody,evenhismother,toknowthathecouldreadwhilehekhecould?Isittypicalofchildishbehavior?
4)OfthebooksGreenereadasachild:ThePirateAeroplane,SophyofKravooryofFrancisCludde,andKingSolomon’sMines,whiflueuremost?Why?
5)WhateffectdidTheViperofMilanhaveonyoungGreene?Whichparticularbookorwriterinfluenost?Why?
6)liedby“。。。oftehatmyhandhadherthanKingSolomon’sMines”?
7)WhydidGreeionhisfirstfourteeimesthroughouttheessay?Whateffectdoesthisrepetitionachieve?Whichyearoryearsinyourownilareffeyourlife?
8)Whatisthedanizatiohisessay?
9)entontheendingofthisessaybyquotinglinesfromapoembyAlfredEdwardHouseman。Doyouknowaiclethatendsbyquotingsomelinesfromapopularpoem?Isthisaivewayfanessay?Explain。
10)WhyistheessaytitledTheLostChildhood?InwhatsenseisGreene’schildhoodalostone?
2。Fillintheblanksahesummaryoftheproseopening。
Iheauthorsidersthereadingexperiene’s1)vastlyiialontheirlives,whichwastotallydifferentfromtheadulthexperiehelatteronesmayonlyprovideuswith2),3),andthe4)ofourviews。Inchildhood,allbooksareof5)。
&horstillremembersthe6)ofhisabilitytoread,whichwasdescribedasa7)turnedinalock。ThebeginninglifewasaureofDixo,a8)。Throughthelongsummerholiday,hekepthisnewlygaiyasa9)。Hefeltakeensenseof10)aslongasheread。