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Text A Thinking as a Hobby（第1页）

TextAThinkingasaHobby

WilliamGolding

[1]WhileIwasstillaboy，Icametothethattherewerethreegradesofthinking;andsinceIwaslatertokingasmyhobby，Ievenstrangerely，thatImyselfotthinkatall。

[2]Imusthavebeenanunsatisfactorychildfrowh。Irememberhowiheyappearedtomeatfirst，butnot，ofcourse，hoearedtothem。Itwastheheadmasterofmygrammarschohtthesubjekihoughheway，norwiththeresultheintended。Hehadsomestatuettesinhisstudy。Theystoodonahighcupboardbehindhisdesk。Onewasaladywearingnothingbutabathtowel。Sheseemedfrozeernalpahebathtowelslipdownanyfarther，andsinceshehadnoarms，shewasinanuiontopullthetowelupagaioher，crouchedthestatuetteofaleopard，readytdodrawerofafililabeledA-AH。Myierpretedthisasthevictim’slast，despairiheleopardwasanaked，mustleman，whosat，lookingdown，withhishisfistandhiselbowonhiskerlymiserable。

[3]Sometimelater，Ilearhesestatuettes。Theheadmasterhadplacedthemwheretheywouldfaquent，becausetheysymbolizedtohimtowholeoflife。ThenakedladywastheVenusofMilo。ShewasLove。Shewashetowel。ShewasjustbusybeiheleopardwasNature，andhewasbeingnatural。Thenaked，mustlemanwasnotmiserable。HewasRodin’sThinker，animageht。Itiseasytobuysmallplastermodelsofwhatyouthinklifeislike。

[4]IhadbetterexplainthatIwasafrequentvisitortotheheadmaster’sstudy，becauseofthelatestthingIhaddoundone。Asased。Iwas，ifanything，disied;andIuzzled。Grownupsnevermadesense。WheneverIfoundmyselfiioheheadmaster’sdesk，withthestatuettesglimmeringwhitelyabovehim，Iwouldsinkmyhead，claspmyhandsbehindmybadwritheoheother。

[5]Theheadmasterwouldlookopaquelyatmethroughflashiacles。“Whatarewegoingtodowithyou?”

&weretheygoingtodowithme?Iwouldwrithemyshoesomemoreathew。

[7]“Lookup，boy!’tyoulookup?”

[8]ThenIwouldlookatthecupboard，wherethenakedladywasfrozeninherpanidthemustlemahehiheleopardinendlessgloom。Ihadnothingtosaytotheheadmaster。Hisspectaclescaughtthelightsothatyoucouldseenothinghumahem。Thereossibilityofuni。

[9]“Dohinkatall?”

[10]No，Ididn’tthink，wasn’tthinking，’tthink—Ilywaitinginanguishfortheiop。

[11]“Theerlearn—hadn’tyou?”

[12]Ononeotheheadmasterleapedtohisfeet，readplonkedRodin’smasterpiethedeskbeforeme。

[13]“That’swhatamanlookslikewhehinking。”

[14]Isurveyedthegehoutiorprehension。

[15]“Gobacktoyourclass。”

[16]Clearlytherewassomethingmissiurehadeofthehumahasixthse。Thismustbeso，Imused，onmywaybacktothecewhetherIhadbrokenawindow，orfailedtorememberBoyle’sLaw，orbeenlateforsyteaeoanswer:“Why’tyouthink?”

[17]AsIsawthecase，IhadbrokenthewindowbecauseIhadtriedtohitJaeywithacricketballandmissedhim;IberBoyle’sLawbecauseIhadheredtolearnit;andIwaslateforschoolbecauseIpreferredlookihebridgeintotheriver。Infact，Ieremyteachers，perhaps，sogoodthattheyotuhedepthsofmydepravity?Weretheytormentedpeoplewhocoulddirecttheireveryabythismysteriousbusihihingrehensible。Inmyearlieryears，IfouatuetteoftheThinkerg。Ididnotbelieveanyofmyteacherswerenaked，ever。Likesomeobitterlydetermiofindoutaboutsound，Iwatchedmyteacherstofindoutaboutthought。

[18]TherewasMr。Houghton。Hewasalwaystellihink。Withamodestsatisfa，hewouldtellthathehadthoughtabithimself。Thenwhydidhespendsomuchtimedrinking?Orwastheremoresenseindrinkingthanthereappearedtobe?Butifnot，andifdriruih—andMr。Houghtonwasruiherewasnodoubtaboutthat—aystalkingaboutthelifeauesoffreshair?Hewouldspreadhisarmswidewiththeaanwhohabituallyspenthistimestridingalongmes。

[19]“Openairdoesmegood，boys—Iknowit!”

[20]Sometimes，exaltedbyhisownoratory，hefromhisdeskasideintoahideouswind。

[21]“Now，boys!Deepbreaths!FeelitrightdowninsideyhtsofGod’sgoodair!”

[22]Hewouldstandbefihealth，anopen-airman。Hewouldputhishandsonhiswaistaremeh。Youcouldheartheedintheofhisdstrugglingwithalltheunnaturalimpediments。Hisbodywouldreelwithshodhisruieattheuioaggerbacktohisdeskandcollapsethere，uselessfortherest。

[23]Mr。Houghtoohigh-mindedmohegoodlife，sexlessandfullofduty。Yetinthemiddleofohesemonologues，ifagirlpassedtheingalolittlefeet，hewouldihisdiscourse，hisneckwouldturnofitselfandhewouldwatchheroutofsight。Inthisinstaomerulednotbythoughtbutbyaninvisibleaiblespringinhisnape。

[24]Hisneobjectofgreatiome。Normallyitbulgedabitoverhiscollar。

[25]ButMr。HoughtonhadfoughtiWsidebothAmeridFrendhade—byhatillogic?—toasettleddetestationofbothtries。Ifeithertryhappeobepromiiaffairs，akeMr。Houghto。Hewouldbangthedesk，hisneckwouldbulgestillfurtherandgored。“Yousaywhatyoulike，”hewouldcry，“butI’vethoughtaboutthis—andIknowwhatIthink!”

[26]Mr。Houghtonthoughtwithhisneck。

[27]Therearsons。Sheassuredusthatherdearestelfare，butIkhen，withthemysteriousceofchildhood，thatwhatshewawasthehusbaherewasMr。Hands—andsoon。

[28]Ihavedealtatlengthwithmyteachersbecausethiswasmyintrodutotheiso。ThroughthemIdiscoveredthatthoughtisoftenfullofunsciousprejudiorandhypocrisy。Itwillledisiywhileitsnegremorselesslytwistedtowardaskirt。Teically，itisaboutasprofitasmostbusinessmen’sgolf，ashoasmostpolititentions，or—toyowioasmostbooksthatgetwritten。ItiswhatIcametocallgrade-threethinking，thoughmoreproperly，itisfeelihought。

[29]True，oftenthereisakindofinnoprejudices，butinthosedaysIviewedgrade-threethinkingwithaemptandaninockery。IdelightedtotapiousladywhohatedtheGermanswiththepropositionthatweshouldloveouremeagreattruthihgrade-threethinkers;becauseofher，Inolongerdismisslightlyamentalprocesswhie-tenthsofthepopulatiotheywillevergettothought。Theyhaveimmensesolidarity。Wehadbetterrespectthem，forweareoutnumberedandsurrounded。Acrowdofgrade-threethinkers，allshoutihing，allwarmingtheirhandsatthefireoftheirownprejudices，willnotthankyoutthetraditheirbeliefs。Manisagregariousanimal，andeascowswillgrazeallthesamewayonthesideofahill。

[30]Grade-twothinkiionoftradis。Ireachedgradetwoedthepoor，piouslady。Grade-twothistampedeeasily，thoughoftentheyfalliherfaultandlagbehihinkingisaitheyesandearsopen。Itbecamemyhobbyandbroughtsatisfadloherhand。Frade-twothiroyswithouthaviocreate。ItsetmewatgthecrHisMajestytheKingandaskiallthefusswasabout，withoutgivihingpositivetoputintheplaceofthatheadypatriotism。Buttherewerepensations。Tohearpeoplejustifytheirhabitofhueariopiecesbygthatthefoxeslikeit。ToherourPrimeMialkaboutthegreatbeweferredonIndiabyjailingpeoplelikePanditNehruandGandhi。TohearAmeripolitistalkaboutpeaesenteojointheLeagueofNatio。Yes，thereweremome。

[31]ButIardadolesdhadtoadmitthatMr。Houghtonwasnottheohaiblespringioo，feltthepulsivehandantofindthatpointingouttradicouldbecostlyaswellasfuh，forexample，aseriousandattractivegirl。Iwasahetime。Grade-twothinkiionandknosectslikeskittles。Iputmyselfinapositioedbyherradethree。ShewasaMethodist—oratleast，herparehhadtofollowsuit。But，alas，insteadontheHolySpirittoe，Ruthwasfoolishenoughtoopehi。SheclaimedthattheBible（KingJamesVersion）ired。IteredbysayingthattheCatholicsbelievedieralinspirationofSaie，awobookswerediffereflagged。

[32]AtlastsheremarkedthattherewereanawfullotofMethodistsandthey’tbewrong，couldthey—notallthosemillions?Thatwastooeasy，saidIrestively（fortheneareryouweretoRuth，theobeo）sihereweremoreRomanCatholiMethodistsanyway;andthey’tbewrong，couldthey—notallthosehundredsofmillions?Anawfulflickerofdoubtappearedinhereyes。Islidmyarmrouahlesslythatifweweregheads，theBuddhistsweretheboysformymohhasreallywaodomegood，becauseIwassoionofmyarmalessBuddhistswastoomuchforher。

[33]Thathervisitedmyfathera，red-dindignant。IwasgivehirddegreetofindoutewasluckywewerebothofusoRuthandgainedanuionasapoteine。

[34]Sograde-twothinkingcouldbedawasinthiskheageoffifteen，thatIremembermakiheheightsofgradetwo，oionsofgradethree。OneeveningIfoundmyselfaloheschoolhall，preparingitforaparty。Thedooroftheheadmaster’sstudyeheheadmasterhadpRodin’sThinkerdownonthedeskasaheyoung。Perhapshehadnotfoundaes，butthestatuetteswerestillthere，glimmeringaontopofthecupboard。IstoodonadrearraoodVeowelonthefilihathtitsbreathinagaspofsexyext。“A-ah!”TheportentousThinkerIplatheedgeofthecupboardsothathelookeddowowelatoslip。

[35]Grade-twothinking，thoughitfilledlifewithfu，dident。Tofindoutthedeficiesofoureldersbolsterstheyoudoesnotmakeforpersoy。Ifoundthatgradetwowasnotoopointouttradis。Ittooktheswimmersomedistaheshoreahere，outofhisdepth。IdecidedthatPontiusPilateicalgrade-twothiistruth?”hesaid，averyohought，butoisusedalwaysastheendumehebegiillahighergradeofthoughtwhichsays，“Whatistruth?”aofindit。