第15章童年(1)
Childhood
列夫·托尔斯泰LeoTolstoy
Happy,happy,imeofchildhood!Holovinganddwellingupoions?Theydelevatethesoul,aherjoys。
&imes,whendreamingofbygonedays,fancythat,tiredabout,Ihavesatdowninmyhigharm-chairbythetea-table。Itislate,andIhavelongsinkmyyeyesareheavywithsleepasIsitthereandlisten。HowotlisteMammaisspeakingtosomebody,andthatthesoundofhervoielodiousandkind?Howmuchitsechoesreyheart!WithmyeyesveiledwithdrowsinessIgazeatherwistfully。Suddeogrowsmallerandsmaller,andherfaishestoapoiIstillseeit—stillseeherasshelooksatmeandsmiles。Somehowitpleasesmetrownsosmall。IblinkandblisheloerthaedinthepupilofahenIrousemyself,aurefades。OncemoreIhalf-yeyes,andcastabouttotryahedream,butithasgoomyfeet,onlytofallbafortablyintothearmchair。
“There!Yasleepagain,littleNicolas,”saysMamma。“Youhadbettergotoby-by。”
“No,Iwon’tgotosleep,Mamma,”Ireply,thoughalmostinaudibly,forpleasantdreamsaref?illingallmysoul。Thesoundsleepofchildhoodisweighingmyeyelidsdown,andforafewmoments。Isinkintoslumberandoblivionuntilawakenedbysomeone。Ifeelihoughasofthandweregme。Iknowitbythetoud,thoughstilldreaming,Iseizeholdofitaomylips。Everyoneelsehasgoobed,andonlyonedleremainsburninginthedrawing-room。Mammahassaidthatsheherselfwillwakeme。Shesitsdowhe,withhersofthandstrokingmyhair,andIhearherbeloved,well-knownvoimyear:“Getup,mydarling。Itistimetogoby-by。”
Noenviousgazeseesherafraidtoshedupohewholeofhertendernessandlove。IdoIkissandkissherhand。
&hen,myangel。”
Shepassesherotherarmroundmynedherf?iicklemeastheymoveacrossit。Theroomisquietandinhalf-darkhetighastouervesaoawake。MammaissittiItell—andtougme;Ihearhervoidfeelherpreselastrousesmetup,tothrowmyarmsarouohidemyheadinherbosom,andtosay>
“Ah,dear,darlingMamma,howmuchIloveyou!”
Shesmileshersad,engsmile,takesmyheadbetweewohaheforehead,andliftsmeontoherlap。
“Doyoulovemesomu?”shesays。Then,afterafewmoments’sileinues:“Andyoumustlovemealways,ame。IfyourMammashouldnolongerbehere,willyoupromiseether—never,Nika?”andshekissesmemorefondlythanever。
“Oh,butyoumustnotspeaksMamma,myMamma!”IexclaimasIclaspherkearsofjoyandlovefallfrommyeyes。
How,afterseslikethis!Iwouldgoupstairs,andstaheidsayturousfeeling,“GodblessPapaandMamma!”aaprayerformybelovedmotherwhichmychildishlipshadlearnttolisp—theloveofGodandstrangelyiion!