第20章爱上陌生人(1)
ToLer
桑德·史密斯Sah
Aparentsieey-six-year-oldmotherusedtolongforthedaywhenshecouldjustsitanddonothing。akihe。Naboutwhethertherewaseopaythebills。Nomoreresponsibilities。
&herwish。Everydaysinanursiappingherfingersonherasyhmthatremindsmeofbebop,talkingtoherselfaboutherfather,aseight。
“Mildred。。。Mildred。”Isay。
Shelooksupatme,hereyesbrighten,andhersmilerevealsshoseofafive-year-old。“ehere,babydoll,”shesays。
Irushovertoher,pullcloseadsitdown。
“Hey,Mildred,howareyou?”Idon’tcallherMommyanymore。ShedoesoMommy。
MymhAlzheimer’sin1984,rightafterIgraduatedfromcollege。Whileinschool,Isawsignsthatsomethingwaswrong。Often,whenIwoulde,shewouldbeupsetbecauseshe’dlosthermoney。“Mommyneverloseshermohink。
Ifoughtthedisease。Throughdoctors,diet,andmedidthroughtheadditionofeseherbs,mymother’shealthimproved。Shelostseventy-fivepoundsandregaiytoversewithotherpeople。Yet,despiteprofoundphysient,theAlzheimer’suedtounravelhermihesixyears。
Ilivedwithmymotherfrom1984to1990,astheillnessslowlytookitstoll。Itallingtowatchhergerightinfrontofme。Shedidn’tjustfs。Shebecameadifferentperson—onewhomIdidnnize。Whenmyboyfriendwouldwatchtelevision,she’dwalkincirdhischair,mutteringuhandsg。Shekeptahammerhiddeninherroomaheslightestprovo。Ifshegotoutofthehouse,she’drefusetoebastead,shewouldru,gforthepolicetohelpher。She’detobelievethatsheoliceoffivitouchedoffbyaletteriakethecivilservicetest。Onlyanotherpoliceofficervioeintothehouse。
Thisisnotmymother,Iwouldtellmyself。Mymotherhadihispersonovertoherwindow。Mymotherhiswomaearsattheslightestthing。Mymotheraloliteandgood-hiswomanwasquick-temperedandslightlyparanoid。Shemovedmagazines,silverware,dishes,andgaroundthehouse。Wheheobjects,she’dbeeangryamefshehaddohingwrooldmethatotherpeople,notshe,hadmovedthesethings。
“ehere,”she’dsayforcefully,grabbingmyhandandpullioherroom。“Listen。Doyouhearthem?Theytookit。”
Tolearhedisease,mysisterandIattendedgroupsforfamiliesofAlzheimer’spatietoblamemymsshesaidordid。TheAlzheimer’swastalking,nother。
Asthediseaseprogressed,mymhtened。She’dsay,“eningtome?Why’tIremember?”
BeforeAlzheimer’s,mymotheredfearorsadome。Now,shebegelyfreewithheremwhenfrightened,expressingangerwhenfurious,andlaughied。AsIreleasedmyperymotherosedtobe,webothbecamecalmer。
&hingIcouldtostayectedtoherasshelosttheabilitytoehehallmarksofliherhadalwaysloveddanIwork,I’dturnonTinaTurnerorJaJadwewoulddance。I’dplayherfavsonthepiano,andshe’dpladontopofthehtaeandeverywordperfectly。