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第17章 我们为什么不快乐 3（第2页）

1。Badstuff，athebottomofthescale。

atthebottomof：在……的底部

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ASimpleTruthAboutHappiness

佚名Anonymous

Iarticularlyhappydlikemostteenagers，Ireveledinmyangst。Oneday，however，itoethatIwastakingtheeasywayout。Anyonecouldbeunhappy；ittoeoreffort。Truegelayinstrugglingtobehappy。

&hatwehavetoinessesasomanypeople。Weassumeit’safeelingthatesasaresultofgoodthingsthatjusthappentous，thingsoverwhichwehavelittleornotrol。

Buttheoppositeistrue：happinessislargelyunderourtrol。Itisabattletobewagedandobea>

Toachieveahappierlife，it’sooverblingblocks，threeof>

parisonwithOthers

Mostofuspareourselveswithahinkishappier—arelative，anaeonewebarelyknow。Ioayoungmanwhostruckmeasparticularlysucdhappy。Hespokeofhisloveforhisbeautifulwifeaers，andofhisjoyatbeingaradiotalk-showhostinacityheloved。Irememberthinkinghewasohoselueverythilesslyright。

&artedtalkingabouttheI。Heblesseditsexisteoldme，becausehecouldlookupinformationonmultiplesclerosis—theterriblediseaseafflighiswife。Ifeltlikeafnothinguedinhislife。

ImagesofPerfe

Almostanyofushaveimagesofhowlifeshouldbe。Theproblem，ofcourse，isthatonlyrarelydopeople’sjobs，spousesandliveuptotheseimaginedideals。

Here’sapersonalexample：Nooneinmyfamilyhadeverdivorced。Iassumedthatmarriagewasforlife。SowhenmywifeandIdivorcedthreeyearsafterthebirthofourson，myworld。Iwasafailureinmyowneyes。

Ilaterremarriedbutfidedtomywife，FranthatI’tshakethefeelingthatmyfamilylifehadfailed。Sheaskedmeithourfamilynow（whicludedherdaughterfromaprevieandmyson）。Ihadtoadmitthat，asidefromthepaihmysononlyhalfthetime（myex-wifeaody），ourfamilylifewaswonderful。

“Thenwhydoeit？”Sheasked。

That’swhatIdecidedtodo。ButfirstIhadtogetridoftheimageofa“perfect”family。

“MissingTile”Syndrome

&ivewayofsabotagiolookatsomethiedoflaw。It’slikelookingupatafileddtratingonthespacewhereoileismissing。Asabaldmantoldme，“Wheeraroom，allIseeishair。”

&yearsstudyinghappiness，ahemostsignifisI’vedrawnisthis：thereislittlecorrelatiohecesofpeople’slivesandhoytheyare。Amomeionshouldmakethisobvious。eoplewhohavehadarelativelyeasylifeyetareessentiallyunhappy。Andhohavesufferedagreatdealbutgenerallyremainhappy。