TextBTheReadingPublic:ABookStoreStudy
&lerLeacock
[1]“Wishtolookaboutthestore?Oh,oh,byallmeans,sir,”hesaid。
[2]Then,asherubbedhishaherinanurbanefashioedapierceatmethroughhisspectacles。
[3]“You’llfihatyou,”hesaid,“inthebackofthestoreo。”Wehavethereaseriesofreprints—UniversalKnowledgefromAristotletoArthurBalfour—atseves。OrperhapsyoumightliketolookoverthePantheohors,attes。“Mr。Sparrow,”hecalled,“justshowthisgentlemanourclassits—theteseries。”
[4]Withthathewavedhishandtoanassistantanddismissedmefromhisthought。
[5]Inotherwords,hehaddivinedmeiherewasnouseinmyhavingboughtasage-greenfedorainBroadtiedoneupcrosswisewithspotsasbigasheselittleadorseverhidethesoulwithin。Irofessor,a,oratleast,aspartofhisbusiness,hecoulddiviheinstant。
[6]Thesalesmahebiggestbookstorefortenblootbedeaer。Andheknew,ofcourse,that,asaprofessor,Iwasnogood。Ihadetothestore,asallprotobookstores,justasaestoanopenjarofmarmalade。HekIwouldhangaroundfortwetineverybody’sway,andfinallybuyacheapreprintoftheDialoguesofPlato,ortheProseWorksofJohnMilton,orLoaanding,orsometrashofthatsort。
[7]Asforrealtasteiure—theabilitytoappreciateatitsworthadollar-fiftymonth,inasprihatangofrontispiece—Ihadn’tgotita。
[8]Hedespisedme,ofcourse。Butitisamaximofthebookbusiaprupinaerburiedinabooklookswelliherealerslikeit。
[9]Soitwasthatevensoup-to-dateamanagerasMr。Sellyertoleratedmypresenabaerofhisstore;andsoitwasthatIhadanopportunityofnotihingofhismethodswithhisrealethodssosuccessful,Imaysay,thathisisrightlylookeduponbyallthepublishingbusinessasoaysofliteratureinAmerica。
[10]Ihadionofstandinginthepladlisteningasaspy。Infact,totellthetruth,IhadbeediatelyiediranslationoftheMoralDiscoursesofEpictetus。ThebookwasverylypriewellboundandwashteehatforthemomentIwasstroobuyit,thoughitseemedbesttotakeadipintoitfirst。
[11]Ihadhardlyreadmorethatthefirstthreechapterswheioedbyversationgoingoofthestore。
[12]“You’requitesureit’shislatest?”afashionablydressedwomanwassayingtoMr。Sellyer。
[13]“Oh,yes,Mrs。Rasselyer,”ahemanager。“Iassureyouthisishisverylatest。Infaeierday。”
[14]Ashespoke,heihhishandahugepileofbooks,gailyjawhiteandblue。Iakeoutthetitleinbitgiltlettering—GoldenDreams。
[15]“Oh,yes,”repeatedMr。Sellyer。“ThisisMr。Slush’slatestbook。It’shavingawonderfulsale。”
[16]“That’sallright,then,”saidthelady。“Yousee,ostakeninso:IherelastweekandtooktwothatseemedverynidIicedtillIgothomethattheywerebotholdbooks,published,Ithink,sixmonthsago。”
[17]“Oh,dearme,Mrs。Rasselyer,”saidthemanagerinaoremelysorry。Prayletussendforthemahemforyou。”
[18]“Oh,itdoesnotmatter,”saidthelady,“ofcourseIdidhem。Igavethemtomymaid。Sheprobablywouldn’tknowthediffereny>
[19]“Isupposenot,”saidMr。Sellyer,withadiofadam,”hewenton,fallingiofthefashionablebookman,“suchmistakesareboundtohappeimes。ainfullyyesterday。Oneofouroldestein,ihurry,tobuybookstotakeoeamer,andbeforewerealizedwhathehaddohebooksIsupposemerelybythetitles,assomegetodo—hehadtakentwooflastyear’sbooks。Wewiredatoeamer,butI’mafraidit’stoolate。”
[20]“Butnow,thisbook,”saidthelady,idlyturheleaves,“isitgood?Whatisitabout?”