[31]Myangerwasdelayedsomehow,blockedoffbyastupidiy。Ioogetupandwalkdownthehall,hisvafterme,andlockthedht—Imustgo。ButafterIhadsatdowninmyownroom,myworkinfrohoughtagainhowmuchIlikethisroom,hoorkedinit,atobeforcedout。Afterall,Ifelt,thestrugglebetweenushadreachedadeadlock。Icouldrefusetoopenthedoor,refusetolookathisospeaktohimwheaidinadvandifIleftnowitwasuIwouldgetanyrefundIresolvednottocare。Ihadbeentakingmymanuseeverynighttopreve,andeveiohme。Whatdiditmatterifhereadit,ahanifthemicescamperedoveritinthedark?SeveraltimesafterthisIfoundnotesonmydoor。Iioreadthem,butIalwaysdid。Hisaorespecific。Hehadheardvoimyroom。Mybehaviorwasdisturbinghiswifewheakeherafternoonnap。(Iheafteronweekends。)Hehadfoundawhiskybottleinthegarbage。
[32]Iwooddealaboutthatchiropractor。ItwasnotfortabletoseehowthelegendsofMr。Malley’slifewerebuiltup。
[33]AsthenotesgrewmorevirulentourpersoersceortwiceIsawhisstooped,swelteredbackdisappearingasItothehall。Graduallyourrelationshippassedihatwaseasy。Heacow,bynote,ofbeingihpeoplefromhiswasacoffeehouseintheneighborhoodwhichIimagineheinvokedforsymbolicpurposes。Ifeltthatnothingmuchmoreeeswouldgooentsberotesqueandsolesslikelytoaffectme。
[34]HeknoydooronaSundaym,abouteleveno’clock。Ihadjusteioffandputmykettleoe。
[35]Thistimeitwasanotherface,remured,thatshohecoldlightofidisgtheproofsofsin。
[36]“Iwohemotion,“ifyouwouldmindfollowihehall?”
[37]Ifollowedhim。Thelightwasoninthewashroom。Thiswashroomwasmineandnoo,buthehadnotgiveanditeoppedinfrontofit,pushedbackthedoorandstoodwithhiseyes,expellihdiscreetly。
[38]“Nowwho’sdo?”hesaid,inavoiceofpuresorrow。
[39]Thewallsabovethetoiletahewashbasinwerecoveredwithdrawingsahesortyouseesometimesinpublisonthebeatownhalllavatoriesiledegtrewup。Theyweredohalipstick,astheyusuallyare。Someohavegottehehought,possiblysomeofthegangwhoalwaysloafedandcruisedaroundtheshoppiurdaynights。
[40]“Itshouldhavebeenlocked,”Isaid,dfirmlyasifthustoremovemyselffromthese。“It’squiteamess。”
[41]“Itsureis。It’sprettyfilthylanguage,inmybook。Maybeit’sjustajoketoyourfriends,butitisomework。That’saoseewhenyouopenadooronyourowhem”。
[42]Isaid,“Ibelievelipstickwillwashoff。”
[43]“I’mjustgladIdidn’thavemywifeseeathihis。Upsetsawomanthat’shadanigup。Nowwhydon’tyouaskyourfrieohaveapartywiththeirpailsandbrushes?I’dliketohavealookatthepeoplewiththatkindofasenseofhumor。”
[44]Iturowalkawayandhemovedheavilyinfrontofme。
[45]“Idon’tthinkthere’saionhowthesedesfoundtheirwayontomy>
[46]“IfytosayIhadanythingtodowithit,”Isaid,quiteflatlyandwearily,“youmustbecrazy。”
[47]“Howdidtheygettheretheoryisthis?Eh,whose?”
[48]“Thereis。Anybodyeuphereandwalkin。Maybesomekidsoffthestreetcameuphereanddiditlasthome;howdoIknow?”
[49]“It’sashamethewaythekidsgetsblamedf,whehatcorruptsthem。That’sathingyoumightdosomethinkingabout,youknow。There’slaws。ObsityLaliestothissortofthingaoo,asIbelieve。”
[50]ThisisthefirsttimeIeverremembertakihs,sciously,forpurposesofself-trol。Ireallywaomurderhim。Irememberhowsoftandloathsomehisfacelooked,withtheeyesalmostostrilsextehesoothinghteousheodoroftriumph。Ifthisstupidthinghadnothappened,hewouldhehad。Perhapshesawsomethingiunnervedhim,eveninthisvient,forhedrewbacktothewall,aosaythatactually,asamatteroffact,hehaditwasthesortofthingIpersonallywoulddo,morethesortofthingthatperhapsfriendsofmiintomyownroom,shutthedoor。
[51]Thekettlewasmakingafearfulnoise,havingalmostboileddryIsoffthehotplate,pulledouttheplugandstoodforamomentrage。ThisspasmpassedandIdidwhatIhadtodo。Iputmytypeeronthedfoldedthecardtable。IscrewedthetoptightlyodputitandtheyellowmugaeaspoonintothebaginwhichIhadbroughtthem;itwasstilllyiheshelf。Iwishedchildishlytotakesomevehepottedplant,whitheerwiththefloot,thewastebasket,the,and—Ifot—alittleplasticilsharpe。
[52]WhenIwastakingthingsdowntothecarMrs。Malleycame。Ihadseenlittleofhersifirstday。Shedid,butpradresigned。
[53]“Heislyingdown,”shesaid。“Heisnothimself。”
[54]Shecarriedthebagwiththedthemuginit。ShewassostillIfeltmyaobereplaabsdepression。
[55]IhavefoundanotheroffikthatIwilltryagai。IhavetowaitatleastuntilthatpicturefadesthatIseesomymind,thoughIiy—Mr。Malleywithhisragsandbrushesandapailofsoapywater,sginhisclumsyway,hisdeliberatelyclumsyway,atthetoiletwalls,stoopingwithdifficulty,breathingsorrowfully,arranginginhismindthebizarrebutsomehowesatisfaarrativeofyetarayaloftrust。WhileIarrangewords,andthinkitismyrighttoberidofhim。
[1968]
Notes
&heuedpartofTheOfficebyAliro,inwhidioryisprovidedaionoffemaleinabilityinprofessionalpursuitispresented。
ForFun
WorkstoRead
1。ABirdintheHousebyMargaretLaurence
ItisMargaretLaurence’swell-receivedworkierectedstoriesarefiopresentVanessaMacLeod’sgrirloftenyearsoldintoher>
2。TooMuessbyAliro
ItisAliostreiiooriesdemonwhyAliroiscelebratedasapre-emiheshortstory。Withsometraditioin“Alirotry”inOntarioorihordinarywomehehasaneeredgeinvolvingchildmurders,strangesex,andaterrifyinghomeinvasion。