奇书网

●Guest Manners（第1页）

●GuestManners

Peopleusuallyexpectperfethehostandythingisamiss。Whilethesuccessofasocialodoeshehostalosalsoplayanimportantrole。

Whenyou’vebeeathering，youmayhavethoughtitisthehost’sjobtomakesurethateverythioplanandeveryonehasajollytime。Ifyoureallythoughtthat，we’regoingtoguessyou’vealreadymadeatleastofrustratedinyourwake。Ifyourhostendsupfeelingharddoneby，unhappy，therewillbeoheworldwillingtohostevents。Andthosepeoplearealreadyrunningthinontheground。

&wophilosophiesthatyoushouldkeepinmiime;you’llalwaysbeagreatguestwithouteventryi:Youarehesed:Yourhostisnotyourmother。

Whatduestlike?Takealookathoweasilytheyguideyheachstepoftheevent:

■RespondPromptly

Youshouldrespoionassoonaspossible。Becauseyourhostoknownumberssoshegeffortheevent（fooddriever）。Ifnooisgoiomakeit，theoknowtopiotherdateorceltheevent。Ifyoudon’tgiveyourrespoly，yherplanningmoredifficult。Doyouwanttowaitforabetterihefirstprinciple:Youarelikeeveryoodeeveheyareioodoyou。Holdingoutforabetterinviteisimpolite，yourhostwillhatgoesbywithsilence。

■IfYouSayY，Thene。IfYouSayYouAreIfyouaccepttheinvitatioe。Youmaythinkthatthehostprobablywoiepersonmissing，Iiherfoodhasbeensittingoutforanhourandshaveshownupandshe’llbeveryawareoftheworkawentienfoodandundrunkdritherearealeoplebreaktheirpromise，you’lloothosenumbers。

&houghtyouwouldlikehaveasurpriseingforyourhost。Infact，thatisrude。Uhisisacollegepartywhereeveryhttheirownfoodanddrinks，nooneanypeopleshowup，showinguptoaplahatyouhavenotrepliedfor（orhavepreviouslyses）isjustasrudeasnotshowingupwhenyousaidyouwtoputyourhostiryingtofigureetenoughfoodtocovertheextramouthandmaybegotherproblemswherenumbersarea。

■IfYouocelthePlay，DosoasPromptlyasPossibleandwithaGoodReasonEverydaypassesfromthepointwhenyousaidytothepointwhenyousayyou’remayhavemadeplanshtsupplies。Whileitmayseempletelyreasonableforyoutodeetheeventaweekbefore，forawell-preparedhost，shehasbeenalreadydeepintoherpreparationtime。Ifyoukgoiellyourhostaspromptlyasyoutosavehermoneyandwork。

Givingareasonableexcreasesthecesthatshewilleyouoffherlistuestsfuisgoodtobeho。Ifyou’tbepletelyho，bereasohyourexcuse。

■ArrivePromptlyandDonotArriveEarly

Havishowupearlywillthrowthehostinthefrenzy。Suchasherhouseised，hershoweristaken，orthefoodiscooked。Pleaserememberthatallthethingsthatyoutakefraapartyevent—thatthehostiswelingandwarm，thatthereisfoodaplenty，thatthingsruntoschedule—areallbeiupbehindthesesbyyourhoffhersakethehostworkharder。Youwilldefinitelyberememberedforallthe>

■ShoretoYourHost

It’syyourpocketstoprovidehostgifts。Butagestureofappreforheritalityisstillexpedwillmakeherfeelthathereffortandexpensehileaed。Ureallyisyourparent，pleaserememberthatitisedcourseofeventstoopenupyourhousetosomeone—bevisiblyappreciativeofbei。Abunchoffreshflolebottleofwies，orsmallhouseholditemsudlesareallsafesmallgiftsforthehostthatreciated。

Ifyorotherwisefeeliift，arraohavesomethingdeliveredihepartyissmall，casual，orwithafriendreviouslyhosted，itissometimesacceptablefthegift—thoughyou’dbetterewithasmallgiftifyou’renotosure。Thereisreallyablereasupemptyhandedifyou’respeormultiplenightsatsomeone’shouse。

■BeingOfferedRefreshmentisnotYourOpportunitytoMakeSpecialRequestsIfyourhostasksyourpreferene，beer，orpunch，itwillmakethehostembarrassedifyouasksomethiakewhatisraessandgratitude。Agoodhostwilldoherbesttoaodateaguestecialrequest，butgthefirstprincipleofyouarenotspecial，youbesurethatshewillbemutteringyournameandafewchoicederherbreathassooofearshot。

Ifshehastoopenacupboardtoaodateyouorseheershyoujustmis-steppedanddoyourbesttomakeituptoher。Dofraguestsshouldbeservedlikevisiti’sextremelyioimplythatahostdidnotprovideenoughorappropriaterefreshmeyourneeds。Ifyouhavespeeedsandsimplyotgoahoutyoursherry，thenbringitwithyou—andmakesureyouhaveenoughtoofferthehostas。

&ehePartyEvent，KeepYourPromise

Youthoughtyouwouldatteyevent，butyou’rejustnotinthemoodohappewayyoushoulddoistofakeit。Youputosmileaheremakinggoodversationandminglingbecausewehavethesecipletofollow:Thehostisnotyourparent。Itisnotyourhost’sjobtomakeyououtofabadmood。Itisofigureouthowtomakearoomfullofmiserabletalktoeachother。Soatteaime。

Itisunreasoapartytyourmoodupifyou’retheohereveryoneelsedown。Sogissomethingiakea。Inthesameway，whenyougotoajobihaheadache，youalsotrytoputyourbestfootforward。Sotooshouldyougointyourbesttomakeversatioively。Ifyouspeirepartysittinginthehappybecauseofyourbadmin，youwillforeverbrandyourselfasabadguestwhoshowsupandruiyforeveryoneelse。

&hebadmoodoffandparticipate—it’stheverydefinitionofbeingagoodguest。Ifyourhosthaseventsoractivitiesplawithuestsactively。

■ShoretotheHostforHerPreparationofYourAodatioheghasaholethatexposesyoutotheelementsandthebedisrats，immediatelyshoreforwhatyouknowwillbeafht。Ifyouaretoofastidiousfyouafortablebed，aseparatedroom，youwouldmakethehostawkward。Iime，yuest，notaer，andyourhosthasprobablywetheraodatiopossibleforyou。Shratitudeforhereffortandmakesuresheknowsyou’remorethanhappywithyourlot。

&heRoomand

&hatwheiseveha。Keepyourpossessiouckedaossible，makeyourbedfirstthinginthem，andmakesureanyrubbishisclearedaway。Ifyourhostfeelslikesheisplayingmaidbehindyou，you’veincreasedherworktoomuch。Remember，sheisnotyourmother。Eveofhostswillstrugglewithfeeliorialabouttheirhomeandpossessions;youmitigatethatbynysfaraheonareas。

■TrynottoBotherYourHost

Whenyourhostsay，“That’sallright，”“it’shankyou，Idon’tneedahey’rejustbeinggradtryingtomakeyouasfortableasthey。Shorefortheirattemptsbyreadihesurfacetext。Ifyouoapologiseforsomething，sayitdirectly。Agoodguestistryingnottobotherthehost。Ifyoukeptybaguheliving-room，yourhostofcoursesaidshedidn’tmind。Sheliedwhenshesaidshedidn’tmind;rollitup。Didshetellyouthatitwasoruntotheshopandpickupthatspecialteayouhavetohaveinthems?Shelied。Itisabotherandyoushouldker。

&oHelp

Asaguest，youooffertohelpifnecessary;ifyouarerejedaregardless。gforandgupafteragroupreatdealmoreleimagiheyarealwaystheguestsahehosts。Everydishthatyouleaveoableortaketotheterhastobecollected，washed，dried，andputaway。Didyouhelpwithanyofthat?Youo。Ifyourhostisstandingatthesinkwashingaterdishesasareallstandingbehindherhaviheogiveahand。Ifyourhostsaysno，youseeifthereisanythingelseyouhelp。Shemayhaverefusedbecauseherkitalltoaodatetoomanypeatonce，orsheworksfasteroakealookaround;istherearugthatneedsshakenoutorpillowsthatneedfluffed?Goshakeaheyarejustsmallthings，yourhostwillnotidappreciateforyourefforts。Ohingshouldremember，however:Doohelpohehosthasdoofthework。Shewillsideritfahrow-awayoffer。It’sverynearlyasrudeassayingnothing。

■LeaveWhenYouSayYtoLeave

Ifyousayytoleave，yourhostwillexpressregretthatyouhavetoleave“sosoon”。Doitanyway。Ifyouhaven’tgivenaspecifigtime，thenfollowthisruleofthumb:Doogo。Ifyou’rethelastoofagroup，youweretheretoolong。Don’taskyourhostwhenyoushouldghero。Iftherelanned，leaveascloseafteritsasisreasohereey，leaveearlyenoughiyourhosthaveplentyoftimetoupandrelaxiyhouse。

■TellYoodbyeinPersonWhenY

Don’tjustdisappearwithoutsayanythinglikeyahotel;it’stheheightofrudeness。Yourhostwasgehhertimeandpossessiohyourappre。Tellhergoodbyeihankherforawoimeandexpressyourhopethatitwasn’ttforher。She’llappreciatethatyouwereatteoherefforts。Itisanespeicewaytoleaveyourhostwithasmallthaorahae。

■FollowupwithaThank-youNote

Itisagoodpracticefueststofollowupwithathank-younote;yourhostwillloveawhoremembersthisthoughtfulgesture。Ittakestwomiaquithepost。gthemoroubleyousavedbyogetahotel—heeysomeoneelsearra。