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暖暖的河流 Warm River（第2页）

Therewassomethingelsehewouldsay，andbothofuswaitedforhimtoue。

“Fatherisamastermeic，”Gretwhisperedtome。“Heworksintherailroadshops。”

“Yes，”hesaidafterawhile。“IvelivedinmahereiswhereIwishtostay。”

Myfirstthoughtwastoaskhimwhyhepreferredthemountaiions，butsuddenlyIwasawarethatbothhearaweewaboutit。

Afterawhilehespokeagain，toGret，butasthoughhewerespeakingtosomeoheporch，afourthpersonwhomIhadfailedtoseeinthedarked，teed，forhimtoue。

&movedherchairafewiniiohoutsouhoftheriverdcovereduslikeablaonaight。

&dtheirlslosttheirmother，”hesaid，almostinaudibly，bendingforwardoverhiskneesandgazingoutacrreeerwelosttheirmother，Icamebaountainstolive。I’tstayinNorfolk，andI’tstanditinBaltimore。ThiswastheohwhereIdpeace。Gretremembershermother，butherofyouderstandhowitiswithme。HermotherandIwereborhemountains，aogetherforalmosttwehenaftersheleftus，Imovedaway，foolishlybelievingthatIcet。ButIwaswrong。OfcourseIwaswrong。Amantfetthemotherofhis，eventhoughheknowshewillneverseeheragain。”

&ede，andIyeyesfromherdarklyframedprofilebesideme。Theriverbelowusmadenosouhofitsvaporwouldhatitwasstillthere。

&herhadbentfartherforwardinhistilhisarmswererestingonhisknees，atoseesomeohersidehoaintopaboveit。Hiseyesstraiheshaftoflightthatcamethroughtheopendooronthemahere。Tearsfellfromhisfacelikefragmentsintohisquiveringhandsuntiltheywereoutofsight。

&illiupahroughthedoorway。Hishugeshadowfellupodmeashestoodtheremomentarilybefiurnedaowardhimbut，eventhoughheassingfromsight，Iyeyesuponhim。

&edclainstme，squeezingherfihehollowofmyhandandtougmyshoulderwithhercheeksasthoughsheweretryihingfromthem。Herfathersfootstepsgrewfailastweolongerhearhim。

Somewherebelowus，alongthebankoftheriver，araihevalley，gahroughthenight。Oallyitslightsflashedthroughtheopeningsinthedarkness，danthebroadgreenriverlikephtsih，aallicechoofitssteelrumbledagainstthehighwallsofthemouclaspedherhandstightlyovermyhaertips。

“Richard，whydidyoue?”

Hervoigledwiththesgmetallicechoofthetrainthatnowseemedfaroff。

Ihadexpectedtupintomyface，butwheoher，Isawthatshewasgazingfardownintothevalley，dowersoftheriver。SheknewwhyIhade，butshedidnotwishtohearmesay>

IdidnotknowwhyIhadetoseeher，now。IhadlikedGretdIhaddesiredheraboveanyoneelseIkIottellherthatIlovedher，afterhavingheardherfatherspeakoflove。IwassorryIhade，nheardhimspeakofGretsmotherashedid。Ikwouldgiveherselftome，becauseshelovedme;butIhadnothingtogiveheriurn。Shewasbeautiful，verybeautiful，andIhaddesiredher。Thatwasbefore。IeveragainthinkofherasIhadeprepared。

“Whydidyoue，Richard？”

“Why?”

“Yes，Richard;why?”

MyeyesdwhatIfeltwasthememoryofthestar-poistwinklingdowninthevalleyahoftheriverflowihecaressersasshetouchedmyarm。

“Richard，pleasetellme>

“IdontknowwhyIcame，Gret。”

“Ifyouonlylovedme。asIloveyou，Richard，youhy。”

Herfirembledinmyhand。Iknewshelovedme。Therehadbeennodoubtinmymindfrrete。

“PerhapsIshouldnothavee，”Isaid。“Imadeamistake，Gret。Ishouldhavestayeda>

“Butyouwillbehereht，Richard。Yearlyinthem。Youarentsorrythatyoucame，forjustthisshorttime，areyou，Richard?”

“I’mnotsorrythatIamhere，Gret，butIshouldnothavee。Ididn’tknoasdoianyrighttoehere。Peoplewholoveeachotheraretheonlyones-”

“Butyoudolovemejustalittle，don’tyou，Richard?You’tpossiblylovemenearlysomuchasIloveyou，butethatyoudolovemejustalittle?I’llfeelmuchhappierafteryouhavegone，Richard。”

“Idontknow，”Isaid，trembling。

“Richard，please-”

Withherhandsinmiightly。Suddehinge，athingthatstabbedmybodywithitsquiess。Itwasasifthewordsherfatherhadutteredwerebeiome。Ihadnotrealizedbeforethattherewassuchaloveashehadspokenof。Ihadbelievedthatmenneverlovedwomeniawomanlovedaman，buthereodifference。

&silently，holdihershandsftime。Itastmidhelightsinthevalleybelturtimedidnotmatter。

&gsoftlytome，lookingupintomyfadlayinghercheekagainstmyshoulder。Shewasasmueasawstoaman，butIkIeverforcemyselftotakeadvantageofherlove，andtogoawayknowingthatIhadnotlovedherasshelovedme。Ihadnotbelievedanysugwheraveledallthatdistaoholdherinmyarmsforafewhours，aether，perhapsforever。

&wastimefointothehouse，IgotupandputmyarmsarourembledwhesheeastightlyasIheldher，andthehammeridroveirokeafterstroke，likeanexpahespearsofherbreasts。

“Richard，kissmebefo，”shesaid。