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一个古怪的梦 A Curious Dream（第1页）

一个古怪的梦A

马克·吐温MarkT>

马克·吐温（MarkTwain，1835—1910），美国幽默大师、小说家、著名演说家，19世纪后期美国现实主义文学的杰出代表。作品风格以幽默与讽刺为主，既富于独特的个人机智与妙语，又不乏深刻的社会洞察与剖析。主要的代表作品有《哈克贝利·费恩历险记》（长篇）、《百万英镑》（短篇）等。

Ihadasingulardream。Iseemedtobesittingonadoorstep（innoparticularcityperhaps）ruminating，aimeofobeabouttwelveoroneo‘clock。Theweatherwasbalmyanddelicious。Therewasnohumansouevenafootstep。Therewasnosoundofanykindtoemphasizethedeadstillheoalhofadogiahefainteranswer。PresentlyupthestreetIheardabonyclag，awastheetsparty。Iallskeleton，hooded，andhalfatatteredandmoldyshroud，whoseshredsingabouttheribbylatticeworkofitsperson，swuhastatelystrideahegraygloomofthestarlight。Ithadabrokenaenitsshoulderandabuhinginitshaheclagwasthen；itarty’sjether，andhiselbowsknogagainsthissidesashewalked。ImaysayIrised。BeforeIythoughtsaerupoionsastoparitionmightporteheroneingfnizedhisclack-clack。Hehadtwo-thirdsofahisshoulder，aandheadboardsunderhisarm。Imightilywaopeerunderhishoodaohim，butwheurnedandsmiledupohhisoussodhisprojeashewentby，IthoughtIwouldainhim。Hewashardlygonewhehegagain，andanotheroheshadowyhalf-light。Thisonewasbendingunderaheavygravestone，anddraggingashabbyafterhimbyastritomehegavemeasteadylookforamomentortwo，andtheoaome，saying：

&hisdownforafellow，willyou?”

&hegravestoillitrestedontheground，andindoingsoborethenameof“JohnBaxteranhurst，”with“May，1839，”asthedateofhisdeath。Deceasedsatwearilydownbyme，andwipedhisfrontalwithhismajormaxillary-erhabitIjudged，forIotseethathebroughtairation。

“Itistoobad，toobad，”saidhe，drawioftheshroudabouthimandleaninghisjawpensivelyonhishahisleftfootuponhiskhisalywitharustynailwhichhegotoutofhis。

“Whatistoobad，friend?”

“，everything。IalmostwishIneverhaddied。”

“Yousurpriseme。Whydoyousaythis?Hasanythingg?Whatisthematter?”

“Matter！Lookatthisshrs。Lookatthisgravestoteredup。Lookatthatdisgracefulold。Allamaygoingtoruiionbeforehiseyes，andaskhimifanythingiswrong?Fireandbrimstone！”

“Calmyourself，calmyourself，”Isaid。“Itistoobad-itislytoobad，butthenIhadnotsupposedthatyouwouldmudsuchmatterssituatedasyouare。”

“Well，mydearsir，Idomindthem。Myprideishurt，andmypaired-destroyed，Imightsay。Iwillstatemycase-Iwillputittoyouinsuchawaythatyouprehendit，ifyouwillletme，”saidthepoorskeleton，tiltingthehoodofhisshroudback，asifheweregforadthusunsciouslygivinghimselfajauiveairverymuchatvariahegravecharacterofhispositioospeak-andirastwithhisdistressfulmood。

“Proceed，”saidI。

&heshamefuloldgraveyardablockortwoaboveyouhere，inthisstreet-there，now，Ijustexpectedthatcartilagewouldletgo！-thirdribfromthebottom，friend，hitdofittomyspihastring，ifyouhavegotsugaboutyou，thoughabitofsilverleasanter，andmoredurableandbeipolished-tothiandgoihisway，justonatoftheindiffereofoy！”-andthepratedhisteethinawaythatgavemeawrendashiver-fortheeffectismightilyiheabsenuffingfeshandcuticle。“Iresideinthatoldgraveyard，ahesethirtyyears；ahingsaregedsilaidthisoldtiredframethere，andturretchedsleep，withadeliseuponmeofbeiher，andgrief，ay，anddoubt，andfear，foreverandever，ahfortableaisfatothesextonswork，fromthestartlingclatterofhisfrstspadefulonmytillitdulledawaytothefaintpattingthatshapedtheroofofmynewhome-deliy！Iwishyoucouldtryittonight！”Andoutofmyreveriedeceasedfetchedmearattlingslapwithabonyhand。

&hirtyyearsagoIlaidmedownthere，andy。Foritwasoutirythen-outinthebreezy，frandoldwoods，andthelazywindsgossipedwiththeleaves，andthesquirrelscaperedoverusandaroundus，ahingsvisitedus，andthebirdsflledthetranquilsolitudewithmusic。Ah，itwasworthtenyearsofamaobedeadthehi。Iwasinagoodneighborhood，forallthedeadpeoplethatlivedothebestfamiliesiy。Ourposterityappearedtothinktheworldofus。Theykeptravesi；thefenceswerealwaysinfaultlessrepair，head-boardswerekeptpaiewashed，andwerereplaewonesassooolookrustyordeeupright，railingsintadbright，therose-bushesarimmed，trained，andfreefromblemish，thewalksdsmoothahatdayisgoneby。Ourdestshavefottenus。Mygraatelyhousebuiltwithmoheseoldhandsofmine，andIsleepiedgravewithignawmyshroudtobuildthemhal！Ialiewithmefoundedaheprosperityofthisfy，aelybantlingofourlovesleavesustorotinadilapidatedcemeterywhieighborsdstrangersscoffat。Seethediffereheoldtimeandthis-forinstance：ravesareallow；ourhead-boardshaverottedawayandtumbleddsreelthiswayandthat，withoierafashioy；ourmosleanwearily，andravestoheirheadsdisced；therebesanymore-noroses，norshrubs，nraveledwalks，nthatisaforttotheeye；ahepaintlessoldboardfedidmakeashowofholdingussapanionshipwithbeastsaofheedlessfeet，hastotteredtillitsthestreet，andohepresenalresting-plavitesyetmorederisiontoit。Ahideourpovertyahefriendlywoods，forthecityhasstretcheditswitheringarmsabroadandtakenusin，andallthatremainsofthecheerofouroldhomeistheclusteroflugubriousforesttreesthatstand，boredandwearyofacitylife，withtheirfeetinours，lookingintothehazydistandwishihere。Itellyouitisdisgraceful！”

“Youbegintopreheoseehowitis。Whileourdestsarelivingsumptuouslyoaroundusiy，wehavetofghthardtokeepskullaher。Blessyou，thereisn‘tagraveidoesoimeitraiwehavetoclimboutandroostireesaimeswearewakehechillywatertrigdownthebackofourellyeneralheavingupofoldgravesandkigoverofoldmos，andsgofoldskeletorees！Blessme，ifyouhadgoheresomesuightsaftertwelveyoumighthaveseenasmanyasffteenononelimb，withourjdrearilyandthewihroughourribs！Manyatimeerchedthereforthreeorfourdrearyhours，andtheiffahroughanddrowsy，aher‘sskullstobailraveswith-ifyouinmymouthnowasItiltmyheadback，youseethatmyhead-pieceishalffullofolddrysedimenthowtop-heavyandstupiditmakesmesometimes！Yes，sir，manyatimeifyouhadhappeoealohedawnyou’dhavecaughtusbailingoutthegravesandhangingourshroudsoodry。Why，Ihadashroudstolenfromthere-thinkapartybythehtookit，thatresidesinaplebeiangraveyardoveryohihefrsttimeIeversawhimhehadn‘tanythingonbutacheckshirt，aimeIsaasatasocialgatheringiery，hewasthebest-dressedthepany-anditisasigniftfactthatheleftwhenhesaresentlyanoldwomanfromheremissedher-shegeookitentanywhere，becauseshewasliabletotakedbringonthespasmodicrheumatismthatinallykilledherifsheexposedherselftothenightairmuch。ShewasaMatildaHotightknowher?Shehastwoupperfroall，butagooddealioop，oheleftsidegone，hasoyhairhangingfromtheleftsideofherhead，auftjustaboveandalittleforwardhtear，hasherunderjawwiredohadworkedloose，smallbofoinafghthasakindaitanda’galluswayofgoingwith：herarmsakimboarilsintheairhasbeeyfreeandeasy，andisalldamagedaillshelookslikeaqueeeinruins-maybeyouhavemether?”

“Godforbid！”Iinvolued，forsomehowIwasnotlookingforthatformofquestion，anditcaughtmealittleoffmyguard。ButIhasteomakeamendsformyrudeness，andsay，“IsimplymeantIhadnothadthehonor-forIwouldelyspeakdiscourteouslyofafriendofyours。Ythatyouwererobbed-anditwasashame，too-butitappearsbywhatisleftoftheshroudyouhaveonthatitwasaeinitsday。Howdid……”

Amostghastlyexpressioodevelopamongthedecayedfeaturesaegumentsofmyguest‘sfadIwasbeginningtogrowuneasyanddistressed，wheoldmehewasupadeep，smile，withawinkinit，tosuggestthataboutthetimeheacquiredhispreseaghostinaneighbcemeterymissedohisreassuredme，butIbeggedhimtoselftospeeceforth，becausehisfacialexpressioaihemostelaboratecareitwasliabletomissfire。Smilingshouldespeciallybeavoided。Whathemightholysiderashiningsuccesswaslikelytostrikemeinaverydifferentlight。IsaidIlikedtoseeaskeletoncheerful，evendecorouslyplayful，butIdidnotthinksmilingwasaskeletohold。

“Yes，friend，”saidthepoorskeletosarejustasIhavegiveoyou。Twooftheseoldgraveyards-theoIresidediheralonghavebeeelyedbyourdestsoftodayuntilthereisnoogthemanylonger。Asidefromtheosteologifortofit-andthatisnolightmatterthisraihepresehingsisruinoustoproperty。Wehavegottomoveorbettoseeoureffectswastedawayaroyed。”

Now，youwillhardlybelieveit，butitistrue，thereisn‘tasinglegallmyaowthatisa。Idoolowpeoplewhoeinapineboxmountedon，butIamtalkingabh-toedburial-entalsort，thattravelunderblackplumesattheheadofaprodhaveeterylots-ImeanfolksliketheJarvises，andtheBledsoesandtheBurlings，andsuch。Theyareallaboutruisubstantialpeopleiheywere。Andnowlookatthem-utterlyuseduparieoftheBledsoesactuallytradedhismooalatebarkeeperforsomefreshshavingstoputunderhishead。Itellyouitspeaksvolumes，forthereisnothingacorpsetakessomuchprideinashismooreadtheinsesafterawhiletobelievewhatitsayshimself，andthenyoumayseehimsittingoafternightenjoyiaphsaredtheydoapoorchapawoodafterheisdead，especiallyifhehadhardluckwhilehewasalive。Iwishtheywereusedmore。NowIdon’tplain，buttiallyIdothinkitwasalittleshabbyiogivemenothingbutthisoldslabofagravestone-ahatthereisntaentonit。Itusedtohave：

&OHISJUSTRE>

“Onit，andIroudwhenIfirstsawit，butbyandbyIwheneveranoldfriendofmineghewouldhookhistherailingandpullalongfadreadalongdowothat，andthenhewouldselfandwalkoff，lookingsatisfiedandfortable。SoIscratcheditofftogetridofthosefools。Butadeadmanalwaystakesadealofprideinhismo。YoeshalfadozenoftheJarvisesnow，withthefamilymoalong。AndSmithersandsomehiredspetbywithhisawhileago。Hello，Higgins，good-by，oldfriend！That‘sMeredithHiggins-diediooursetiery-fneoldfamily-great-grandmotherwasanInjun-Iamofamiliartermswithhimhedidn‘thearmewasthereasoanswerme。AndIamsorry，too，becauseIwouldhavelikedtointroduceyou。Youwouldadmirehim。Heisthemostdisjointed，sway-badgenerallydistortedoldskeletonyoueversaw，butheisfulloffun。Whenhelaughsitsoundslikeraspingtwostoher，andhealwaysstartsitoffwithacheeryscreechlikerakinganailacrossawindow-pane。Hey，JoisoldbusJones-shroudcostfourhundreddollarserousseau，iney-sevehiswasinthespringof1926。Itwasenormousstyleforthosedays。DeadpeoplecameallthewayfromtheAlleghahihatoccupiedthegraveomiwell。Nowdoyouseethatindividualgoingalongieceofahead-boardunderhisarm，oneleg-bonebelowhiskathingintheworldon?ThatisBarstowDalhousie，aobusJohemostsumptuouslyoutfittedpersoeredourcemetery。Weareallleavioleratethetreatmentweareregatthehandsofourdests。Theyopeeries，buttheyleaveustnomihestreets，buttheyhingthatisabstous。Lookatthatiellyouinitsdayitieiturethatwouldhaveattrationinanydrawing-roominthisayhaveitifyouwantit-I‘taffordtorepairit。Putaominher，andpartofaop，andabitoffreshliningaloside，andyou’llfiasfortableasaacleofherspeciesyouevertried。Nothanksno，doyouhavebeene，andIwouldgiveyouallthepropertyIhavegotbeforeIwouldseemungrateful。Nowthiswiisakindofasweetthinginitsway，ifyouwouldliketo-asyousay，butIwishedtobefairahere’sme。Good-by，friend，Imustbegoing。Imayhaveagoodwaytogotonight-don‘tknow。Ionlykhiain，andthatisthatIamorailnow，andI’lleteryagain。IwilltraveltillIfeablequarters，ifIhavetohoofittoheb。Itwasdepubliclave，lastnight，toemigrate，ahesuherewontbeaboinouroldhabitations。Suchcemeteriesmaysuitmysurvivitheydonotsuittheremainsthathavethehonortomaketheseremarks。Myopinionisthegeneralopinion。Ifyoudoubtit，goahedepartingghostsupsetthiarted。Theywerealmostriotousiionsofdistaste。Hello，herearesomeoftheBledsoes，andifyouwillgivemealiftwiththistombstoneIguessIwilljoinpanyandjogalongwiththem-mightyrespeily，theBledsoes，aoalwayseoutinsix-horsehearsesandallthatsortofthingfftyyearsagowhehesestreetsindaylight。Goodby，friend。”

Andwithhisgravestoneonhisshoulderhejoihegrislypro，dragginghisdamagedafterhim，fornotwithstandiupoly，Iutterlyrefusedhishospitality。Isupposethatforasmuchastwohoursthesesadouttgby，ladenwiththeirdismaleffedallthattimeIsatpityingthem。Owooftheyouadilapidatedamongthemimidnighttrainsontherailways，buttherestseemeduhatmodeoftravel，andmerelyaskedaboutonpublicroadstovarioustownsandeofwhiotonthemapnow，aandfromtheearthasmuchasthirtyyearsago，ahemneverhadexistedaonmaps，andprivateoeage。Andtheyaskedabouttheofthecemeteriesiownsanddaboutthereputatioizeoreverehedead。

Thiswholematteriedmedeeply，andlikewiseysympathyforthesehomelessoallseemingreal，andInotknowingitwasadream，Imeooneshroudedwandererahadenteredmyheadtopublishanatofthisdverysorrowfulexodus，butsaidalsothatIotdescribeittruthfully，andjustasitoccurred，withoutseemingtotrifewithagravesubjedexhibitahedeadthatwouldshoddistresstheirsurvivithisblandandstatelyremnantofaformerleanedhimfarateandwhisperedinmyear，andsaid：

“Dodisturbyou。Theunitythatdsuchgraveyardsasthratingfromdanythingabodysayabouttheedahatlieinthem。”

Atthatverymomentacockdtheweirdprovanishedaashredorabonebehind。Iawoke，andfoundmyselflyingwithmyheadoutofthebedand“sagging”downwardsiderably-apositionfavorabletdreamswithmoralsinthem，maybe，butry。