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第10章 每个成功者都知道的秘密（第2页）

《感觉良好，新心理疗法》的作者大卫·伯恩斯在这本书中写道：“先有行动，后有动机。你得先给水泵注水，让它启动起来。如果想等到有心情时再做，那不知要等到什么时候。”不想做某事时，你可能会先把它放一放，但我们往往会在投身于做这件事后才会劲头十足。

自律是习惯的形成过程。它的益处很多，自律行为由少及多，久而久之，便形成了习惯。一旦彻底克服了旧习性，你就会感觉更好。自律时——无论是身体上，还是精神上——我们都处于最佳状态。

InOctober1982，a25-year-oldwomaheNewYorkCityMarathon。ilyoulearnthatLindaDownhascerebralpalsyawomaopletethe26。2-mileracrutfellhalfadozekeptgoinguntilshecrossedthefinishline，11hoursaftershestarted。Herhandicaplimitedherspeedbution。

HenryWadswfellowo;Greatistheartofbeginning，butgreatertheartisofending。"Howwouldbeifweallhadageniewhocouldhelpusfinishwhatwebegin。Unfortunately，wedon't。Butwhatwedohaveisadynamiccalleddise—whichextractsahighprice。FollowingoneofPaderewski'sperformansaidtohim，"I'dgivemylifetoplaylikethat。"Thebrilliantpianistreplied，"Idid。"

Aeivebecausewedon'tseethepainahatproduaycredittheachieverwithbrains，brawnorluckybreaks，aourselvesoffthehookbecausewefallshortihatwecouldallbeistsjustbyexeroughdise。Rather，eachofushasthemakingsofsusomeewewillachievethisonlyiflyourwillsand>

Howweacquirestick-at-itivehereisformula。ButIhavedevelopedawayofthinkingthathasrescuedmyownvagwillmorethahebasits：

"Don't"power

Thisisasimportantaswillpower。TheaesephilosopherMenciussaid，"Menmustbedewhattheywillnotdo，aheyareabletoactwithvigoriodo。"

Disemeanschoices

&imeyousayyestoagoalorobjective，yousaynotmanymore。Everyprizehasitsprice。Theprizeistheyes；thepriceisthenoriedUkrainian-Ameribaritooldofhisearlydaysstudyingvoiokeapipe，butonedayhisprofessorsaid，"Igor，youwillhavetomakeupyourmiheryter，reatpipe-smoker，youotbeboth。"Sothepipewent。

Delayedgratifi

M。ScottPeck，M。D。，authorofthebest-sellerTheRoadLessTraveled，describesthistoolofdiseas"aprocessofsgthepainandpleasureoflifeinsuchawayastoehepleasurebymeetingahepainfirstaoverwith。"

Thismightiinedailydeethingassimpleasskippingafavoritelate-nightTVshowaobedearly，tobewideawakeforameetimhtiermresolves。Ayoungiththreedecidedtoiherilementiionforherself。Shesideredtherealitiesofatightbudgetaime，buttheseseemedsmallsacrifireturhatadegreewouldopen。Todaysheisahighlypaidfinansultant。

&ofsueingpastthedrudgeryahedelight。"Thefactisthatmanyworthwhileendeavorsaren'tfun，"sayssyndicatedradioandTVortCrim，"True，alllaymakesJohnnyadullbtoturhioplaymakesforterriblefrustrations，becauselife—everewardingone—includescesthataren'tfunatall。Ilikemyjobasajournalist。It'spersonallysatisfying，butitisn'talwaysfun。"

Agabalance

Neverfusedisewithrigidity。Perfeottheaim；rather，striveforthepeaindthatbeinginchargeofyourself。

Mostofuserludesinourworktotakeawalkoreatsnack—whateverrevivesandrefreshes。Yourbreathersdon'thytoshakeoutthedgivesomerelief。Suchrewardsativesforfinishingatask，asingyoutomaium。

Truediseachievesabalance，n。Evendiseedstobedised。

Self-development

Disedpeoplearehappierpeoplebecausetheyarefulfilliial。Awomanatoneofmyseminarstoldmeabouthersix-year-olddaughterithateamandpracticedeverymforanhour，swimming2000to3000meters，sherelatedaversatihterhadwithafamilyfriend。

"Doyoulikeswimming？"thefriendasked。

"Yes，Iloveit。"

"Isitfun？"

"No！"

Thatsix-year-oldhadlearmanyadultshejoyofdisdself-development。Uheveryworddiseputsusoffbecauseitsouiveandpuruaalkingustomakesurewetoetheliruediseisn'tonyourbagyouwithimperatives；itisatyourside，nudgingyouwithiives。Whehatdiseisself-otself-g，youwon&#eatitsmention，butwillcultivateit。

CharleyBoswell，aformerUyofAlabamafootballstarwithhopesofaprofessionalbaseballcareer，losthiseyesightinWorldWarII，butthatdidn'tstophim"tobeetheNationalBlindGolfes"。Hewasquotedassaying，"IwhatI'velost。IonlytwhatIhaveleft。"Thatisself-development—thatisdise。

Habit-gstrategies

Manyaperson'sdowryingtogeabadhabitbyfoanundesirablebehaviortoreplaceit。

tlesspeopletellmetheywouldliketoeatbetterbutdon'twantto"giveup"tastyfood。Ratherthanthinkingaboutwhatthey'thave，theyshouldthinkaboutwhattheyeat。Fruitjuicewithsparklierisadelicioussubstitutefh-caloriesoftdrinks；snadcookiespreparedwithwholegrainsasgivedybarsgoodpetition。

Itisogeoldhabits。Awomaaseminarandsaid，"I'msoundised。I'tsticktoadietandmyhouseisalwaysamess。Ifeellikeaslob。"Itoldhershewasn'ttotallyundised。"Youmadeittothisce。Youarrivepromptlyatea，alydressed。"Shealmostsmiled，andthe;There'sprobablyareasonwhyyouhaven'tbeeoloseweightetyourhomei;

Later，Ifoundouttherewasabigreason。Sheedayearbefore。Herhusbandhadbeenanalcoholicwhoverballyabusedherall24yearse。Itneveroccurredtoherthatapoorself-imageingherfromeffegpositiveges。Withthisrealizatioheepinbringingmoredisetoherlife—bygoingforg。Meanwhile，someofherfrieoetoherhouseandhelpherup，puttingherevenmoresolidlyonahabit-gcourse。

Mier

IremembermyschooldaysandMom&#ularreveille："Timetogetup！"Iagonizedihelastminuteandranmymother'spatieheodhadtogetmyselfup。Finally，tiredofakihatwhenthealarmrang，Iwouldrise—justbecauseIwaardlessofhowIfelt。Ithasworkedeversince。

InFeelingGood，TheherapyDavidD。Burns，M。D。，writes："Motivatioefirst，adoes！Youhavetoprimethepump。Ifyouwaituntilyou'reinthemood，youmaywaitforever。"Whenyoudon'tfeellikedoihiitoff，butit'softeiaskthatwebeehighlymotivated。

Diseishabit-f。Alittleleadstomore，becausethebesprlydesirable。Whenyoufinallyovereiia，youwillfeelbetterallarouourbest—physidmentally—lined。