第13章“真好看”她说
&iful”SheSaid
佚名Anonymous
&houghtthatIuoodher。Shealwaysseemedsofarawayfromme。Ilovedher,ofcourse。WesharedmutuallovefromthedayIwasborhisworldwithabashedheadauresbecauseofthehardlabormymh。FamilymembersandfriendswriheirhedisfiguredbabyIwas。TheyallentedonhowmuchIlookedlikeabeat-upfootballplayer。ButhoughtIwasbeautiful。Hereyestwihsplendoraheuglybabyinherarms。Herfirstgraiful。”Shesaid。
Beforefinalexamsinmyjunihschool,shedied。Sevenyearsago,herdnosedNanawithAlzheimer’sdisease。Sevenyearsago,ourfamilybecameexpertsonthisdiseaseas,slowly,welosther。
Shealmeeheyearspassed,thewordsshespokebecamefewerailfihingatall。Wewereluckytogetoneoalwordoutofher。Itwasthenourfamilyknewshewasheend。
Aboutaweekorsobeforeshedied,shelosttheabilitiesforherbodytofunatall,aorsdeovehertoahospice。Ahospicewherethosewhoenteredwould。
ItoldmyparentsIwaoseeher。Ihadtoseeher。Myuntrollablecuriosityhadtakenastepabovemygut-wrengfear。
Mymhtmetothehospicetwodaysaftermyrequest。Mygrawoofmyauhereaswell,butallhungbathehallwayasIenteredNana’sroom。Shewassittinginabig,fluffyexttoherbed,slouchedover,eyesshut,mouthnumblyhahemorphineingherasleep。Myeyesdartedarouthewindows,theflowers,andthewayNanalooked。Iwasstruggliotakeitallin,knowingthatthiswouldbethelasttimeIeversa>
Islowlysatdownaher。Itookherlefthainmine,brushingaswaylockofgoldenhairawayfromherfaymouthtospeakbutnothi。Iotgetoverhowawfulshelookedsittingthere,helpless。
&happelehandedarouerandfighter。Hervoiwhatsouhowl。Sheseemedtinpain。Andthen,shespoke。
“Jessiasday。Myof4,2son-in-laws,1daughter-in-law,and6grand,shek>
Atthatmoment,itwaslikesomeonewasshowingafamilyfilmstripinmyhead。Isatizing。Isawheratmyfourteeals。Isawherbringingmerosesahpride。Isadanourkitfloor。IsawherpointingatherownwrielliwasfromherthatIiedmybigdimples。IsawherplayihusgrandkidswhiletheotheradultsateThanksgivingdinner。IsawhersittingwithmeinmylivingroomatChristmastimeadmiringhtlydecoratedtree。Itheherasshewas。。。andIcried。
Iknewshewouldneverseemyfinalseal。Iknewshewouldneverseemecheerforaballgame。IknewshewouldhmeandadmireourChristmastreeagain。Iknewshewoofftomyseniorprom。Iknewshewraduatefromhighscheetmarried。AndIknewshewouldhedaymyfirstchildwasborn。Thismadetearaftertearrolldo>
Butaboveall,IcriedbecauseIfinallyknewhowshehadfeltthedayIhadbeenborn。Shehadlhwhatshesawosideaheinsideandsa>
Islowlyreleasedherhandfrommineahetearsstainingherdmiood,leanedover,kissedher,andsaid,“Youlookbeautiful。”
我从来都不认为我很了解她。她好像一直离我很远。毫无疑问,我爱她。从我出生那天我们就分享这份爱。我带着一个扭曲的脑袋和一张丑陋的面容来到这个世界,这些只是因为母亲的难产。家人和朋友都皱着鼻子看着我这个丑小孩。他们都评论我像一个挨了打的足球队员。但是她不。祖母觉得我很漂亮。她看着怀里的这个丑小孩,眼睛里闪着幸福的光芒。她说她的第一个孙女“很美”。
在我高一期末考试前,祖母去世了。七年前,医生诊断她患了老年痴呆症。于是,我们的家人都成了这种病的专家,渐渐的,她离开了我们。
她只能断断续续地说话。几年后,她的话越来越少,到最后她一句话也说不出来了。我们很幸运能听到她偶尔的话语。之后家人都明白她就要走了。
祖母去世前大约一周,她全身僵硬,无法自理了。于是医生决定把她送到特护院。这个地方人一旦进去就永远不可能出来了。