第35章让心灵去旅行(11)
“可这值得吗?”我不禁叫了起来。“当然啦,”勒·罗斯回答道。“这不至于让他们自觉是‘他乡客’。列车员会因此敬重他们,而其他乘客也不会瞧不起他们——他们不久就要一同登上轮船的。这能为他们赢得整个航行中的地位。再说,事情本身就很有意思。你刚才看到了我送那位女郎吧。不觉得我身手不错吗?”“的确不凡,”我承认道。“我真羡慕你。你看看我站在那儿——”“是的,我能想象。你在那儿,从头到脚哪都不对劲,呆呆地望着你的朋友,搜肠刮肚地找着话题。我完全理解。以前我也是这样的,只不过后来专门研习,干起了这行,才表现得像模像样起来。我现在的技术还没有登峰造极,登上站台后不免总有些怯场。这火车站的戏可最难演,这点你一定也有切身体会。”“可是,”我有些生气了,“我没有演戏,我可是在真心实意地感觉——”“我也是的,伙计,”勒·罗斯又说,“没有真情实感是演不了戏的。那人叫什么来着,那个法国人——狄德罗,对了——他说过可以,可他都懂得些什么?你没看见火车开时我眼睛里涌出的泪水吗?告诉你吧,我确确实实受了感动,我的眼泪不是硬挤出来的。我敢说刚才你也一样,只不过你做不到用眼泪来证明你的感动罢了。你不会表达你的感情,也就是说,你演不了戏。退一步说,”他说得稍微委婉些,“至少你在火车站演不了戏。”“那请赐教!”我放开了嗓门请求。他定定地看着我,斟酌片刻,终于说“好”,答应了下来,“实际上送行的旺季也快过去了。我可以给你上几堂课。目前我的门下子弟还真不少,不过还是这样吧,”说着,他查了查他那漂亮的记事簿,“定为每周四和每周五,一次一小时。”
他开出的学费,坦白说,实在是不低的。但既然是学点本领,我也就不会嫌贵。
Iamnotgoodatit。Todoitwellseemstomeodiffigsintherobablyseemssotoyou,too。
ToseeafriendofffromWaterlootoVauxhallwereeasyenough。Butwearenevertoperformthatsmallfeat。Itisonlywhenafriendisgoingonalongishjourney,afuishtime,thatweturnupattherailwaystatiohefriehejourhelohelikelyabseheearlierdoweturnup,andthemorelamentablydowefail。Ourfailureisiiototheseriousheo,ah。
Inaroom,orevenonadoorstep,wemakethefarewellquiteworthily。ressihegenuinesorrowwefeel。Nordowordsfailus。Thereisnoawkwardness,,ohethreadofourintimaotbeeheleave-takingisanidealo,theheleave-takingatthat?Alartingfriendsimploreusnottobothertoetotherailwaystatiom。Always,wearedeaftotheseeies,kobenotquitesiingfriendswouldthinkitveryoddofusifwetookthemattheirword。Besides,theyreallydowanttoseeusagain。Andthatwishisheartilyreciprocated。Wedulyturnup。Ahen,whatagulfyawsvainlyacrossit。Wehaveutterlylosttouch。Wehavenothingatalltosay。Wegazeateachotherasdumbanimalsgazeathumanbeings。We“makeversation”—andsuversatiohatthesefriehefriendsfromwhomwepartedht。Theyknowthatwehave,onthesurface,everythingisdifferent;aensionissuchthatweonlyluardtoblowhisutahefarce。
OnaoflastweekIdulyturEuston,toseeoffanoldfriendwhforAmerica。
&,wehadgivenhimafarewelldinner,inwhiesswaswellmihfestivity。Yearsprobablysebeforehisreturn。Someofusmightneverseehimagain。Ntheshadowofthefuture,wegailycelebratedthepast。Wewereasthankfultohaveknuestasweweregrievedtolosehim;andboththeseemotionsweremademaerfectfarewell。
Andnoere,stiffandself-stheplatform;ahewindowoftherailway-carriagewasthefaceofourfriend;butitwasasthefaceer—astrangeranxioustoplease,aranger,anawkwardstranger。“Haveyoug?”askedoneasilehing,”aidourfriend,leasahied,withtheemphasisofaybrain。“You’llbeabletolurain,”saidI,thoughtheprophecyhadalreadybeehanonce。“Oh,yes,”hesaidwith。HeaddedthatthetrairaightthroughtoLiverpool。Thisfactseemedtostrikeusasratherodd。WeexgedglastopatCrewe?”askedoneofus。“No,”saidourfriend,briefly。Heseemedalmostdisagreeable。Thereause。Oneofus,withanodandaforcedsmileatthetraveler,said“Well!”Thenod,thesmileandtheunmeaningmonosyllable,werereturnedtiously。Anotherpausewasbrokenbyoneofuswithafitofg。Itwasanobviouslyassumedfit,butitservedtopassthetime。Thebustleoftheplatformwasuherewasnosigraiure。Release—ours,andourfriend’s—was。
Mywaedolymiddle-agedmanwhowastalkilyfromtheplatformtoayoungladyatthewindowbutooours。Hisfineprofilewasvaguelyfamiliartome。TheyoungladywasevidentlyAmeridhewasevidentlyEnglish;otherwiseIshouldhaveguessedfromhisimpressiveairthathewasherfather。IwishedIcouldhearwhathewassaying。Iwassurehewasgiviadvidthestrongtendernessofhisgazewasreallybeautiful。Heseemedmagic,ashepouredouthisfinalinjuns。Icouldfeelsomethingofhismagismeveood。Aism,liketheprofile,wasvaguelyfamiliartome。erie?
InaflashIremembered。ThemaLeRos。ButhowgedsiIsawhim!Thatwasseveyearsago,irahen(asusual)outofa,andborrowedhalf-a-。Itseemedaprivilegetolendanythingtohim。HewasalwaysmagidwhyhismagismhadnevermadehimsuctheLondonstagewasalwaysamysterytome。Hewasaor,andama。But,likemanyothersofhiskiLeRos(Idonot,ivetheaamebyn)driftedspeedilyawayintotheprovindI,likeeveryoneelse,berhim。
Itwasstraeralltheseyears,hereoformofEuston,lookingsoprosperousandsolid。Itwasnotohathehadputon,butalsotheclothes,thatmadehimhardtheolddays,animitationfurcoathadseemedtobeasintegralapartofhimaswerehisill-shornlanternjaws。Butnowhisewasamodelofrioderati,notg,attentiontoitself。Helookedlikeabanker。Anyonecouldhavebeenproudtobeseenoffbyhim。