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第8章 被遗忘的时光2（第1页）

第8章被遗忘的时光（2）

于是，我给孩子们讲道，在追求那个精灵般的女子七年的时间里，我时而充满希望，时而又失望不已，然而始终不渝。我尽量以孩子们能理解的程度，向他们解释少女身上的羞怯、敏感与回绝——当我突然转向艾丽丝时，第一个艾丽丝的灵魂在小艾丽丝的眼里活生生地出现了，以至于我有些怀疑是？站在我的面前。而当我定睛看去时，两个孩子在我的视野中渐渐地变得模糊，越来越远，直到消失，只在最远的地方剩下哀伤的面孔。尽管她们什么也没说，但我仿佛听到了他们的话：“我们不是艾丽丝的孩子，不是你的孩子，我们也不是孩子。艾丽丝的孩子叫巴尔曼爸爸。我们什么也不是，连梦幻都不是。我们只是可能存在的人物，在真实存在之前，我们必须要遗忘河边苦苦等上数百万年，然后才有一个名字。”——我突然惊醒，发现自己静静地坐在我的轮椅上。原来，我在那里睡着了，忠诚的布里吉特还守在我身边，但是约翰（或者詹姆斯）永远失去了踪影。

lovetolistentostoriesabouttheirelders，whentheywere；tostretchtheirimaginatioionofatraditireat-u-aunt，whomtheywasinthisspiritthatmylittleomethetohearabrandmotherField，wholivedihouseinNorfolk（ahuimesbiggerthanthatinwhidpapalived）whichhadbeeleastitwasgenerallybelievedinthatpartofthetry—itswhichtheyhadlatelybeiliarwithfromtheballadoftheintheWood。itisthatthewholestoryoftheandtheirclewastobeseenfairlycarvedoutinwoodupontheey-pieceofthegreathall，thewholestorydowntotheRobiillafoolishripulleditdowupamarbleoionihnostoryuponit。HereAliceputoutoneofherdearmother’slooks，tooteobecalledupbraiding。

&ontosay，hiousandhowgrandmotherFieldwas，howbelovedaedbyeverybody，thoughshewashemistressofthisgreehadonlythechargeofit（aisshemightbesaidtobethemistressofittoo）ittedtoherbytheowner，whinanewerandmorefashionablemansionwhichhehadpurewhereintheadjoiningty；butstillshelivedinitinamannerasifithadbeenherotupthedignityofthegreathouseinasortwhileshelived，whichafterwardscametodedulleddown，andallitsoldorrippedaotheowherhouse，wheretheyweresetup，andlookedasawkwardasifsomeoocarryawaytheoldtombstheyhadseeheAbbey，andstickthemupinLadyC。’stawdrygiltdrawing-room。HereJohnsmiled，asmuchastosay，“thatwouldbefoolishihenItoldhow，wheodie，herfuneralwasattendedbyacourseofallthepoor，ahegentrytoo，oftheneighborhoodformanymilesround，toshowtheirrespeory，becauseshehadbeensuchagiouswoman’sgoodishekhePsalterybyheart，aye，aoftheTestamentbesides。HerelittleAlicespreadherhands。

&oldright，gracefulpersrandmotherFieldondhowihshewasesteemedthebestdancer—hereAlice’slittlerightfootplayedaninvoluilluponmylookidesisted—thebestdancer，Iwassayiy，tillacrueldisease，calledacer，dbowedherdownwithpain；butiteverbendhergoodspirits，ormakethemstoop，buttheywerestillupright，becauseshewassogious。ThenItoldhowshewasusedtosleepbyherselfinalohegreatlonehouse；andhowshebelievedthatanapparitionoftwoinfantswastobeseenatmidnightglidingupanddowairearwheresheslept，butshesaid“hoseiswoulddohernoharm；”andhhteobe，thoughinthosedaysIhadmymaidtosleepwithme，becauseIwasneverhalfsiousasshe—aIheinfants。HereJohnexpandedallhiseyebrowsaoleous。

&oldhowgoodshewastrand-，havingustothegreathouseintheholidays，whereIinparticularusedtospendmanyhoursbymyself，ingazinguposoftheTwelveCaesars，thathadbeenEmperorsofRome，tilltheoldmarbleheadswouldseemtoliveagain，orItobeturomarblewiththem，howInevercouldbefiredwithroamingaboutthathugemansion，withitsvastemptymoms，withtheirworn-outhangings，flutteriryandcarvedoakehegildingalmostrubbedout—sometimesinthespaciousold—fashionedgardens，whichIhadalmosttomyself，unlesswhennowaarygardeningmanwoulde—aarinesandpeaguponthewalls，withoutmyevertopluckthem，becausetheywereforbiddenfruit，unlessnowandthen，—andbecauseIhadmorepleasureinstrollingaboutamongtheoldmelancholy-lookihefirs，andpiguptheredberries，andthefirapples，whichweregbuttolaboutuprass，withallthefinegardensmellsarintheery，tillIostfancymyselfripening，too；alongwiththeesandthelimesinthatgratefulwarmth—orinwatgthedacethatdartedtoandfrointhefishpoomofthegravehereagreatsulkypikehangingmidaterie，asifitmockedattheirimpertifrisking，—Ihadmorepleasureinthesebusy-idlediversionsthaniflavorsofpeaees，es，andsuonbaitsof。HereJohedbatheplateabunchofgrapes，whiobservedbyAlice，hehadmeditateddividingwithher，andbothseemedwillingtoreliheprese。