第2章爱无处不在HowtoFindTrueLove(2)
Atthetime,Ilivedwithabeautifulroommate。Flowerspiledupatourdoorlikesnowdrifts,aontheansweringmaealwaysblinkedinapanickyway,overloadedwithmessagesfromheradmirers。Limousiside,withdateswaitingforherbehindtintedwindows。Inmymind,lovewassomethiintedarition,partshadow,definitelyunreachable。Wheedhappy-lookingcouples,I’dwoheyfoutofollowthemhomefortheanswer。
AfterafewyearsiyIgotmydreamjaboutweddingsfazinecalled7Days。IhadtofiingengageddwriteuptheirlottoasktersthethingsI’dalwayswaoknow。
Ifouoothequestion“Howdoyouknowit’slove?”Youkheeverydaythingssurroundiheshadeoflightinthesky,abowlofstrawberries—suddehakiy。
Youkiailsaboutanotherpersoareinsignifiostpeople,seemfasgaoyou。Ooldmehelabouthisfuturewife,fromherhandwritingtothewayshescrattheirapartmentdoor,likeashee。Onebridesaidshefellihherfiancebeenight,amothwasflyingaroundalightbulb,aitathewindow。Isaid,‘That’sit。He’stheguy。’”Youalsoknowit’slovewhenyou’tstoptalkiher。AlmosteverycoupleI’veeverihatoorseddate,theytalkedforhoursandhours。Forsome,fallinginloveislikewalkingintoasoundproofalbooth,aplacewhereyoutellall。Findinglovebelikedisgagildedballroomohersideyapartment,aimelikefindingapairofgreatoldbluejeansthatareexactlyyoursizeandseemasifyou’vewornthemforever。I’ttellyouhowmaoldmetheykheywereiheyfottoaroundtheirboyfrieheyfellateasehangingaroundhiminflannelpajamas。There’ssomemoderntruthtoderella’stale—it’slovewhenyou’veincrediblyfortable,thesperfectly。
Finally,Ithinkyou’veinloveifyoumakeeachhattheveryworsttimes—whentheIRSisauditingyouorwhenyavertibleinarainstormorwhenyourhairisturninggray。Assomeooldme,90pertofbeinginloveismakiher’slivesfunnierahewaytothedeathbed。
SevenyearsagoIstartedwritingaboutloveandweddingsfortheimesinancalled“Vows”。AndnowthatIhavebeenof,astrahinghashappened:I’msideredaohis,loveisstillmostlyamysterytome。TheonlythingIfidentlysayisthis:Loveisasplentifulasoxygen。Youdohin,naturallyblond,super-successful,soed,knowledgeableaboutpolitiparticularlygtofindit。
&ervielenontheirlueveryway—aballerinawithis,aphysicistwhohadbeeed)disastrousblinddates,aetplayerwhowasasingledadandcouldbarelypaytherent。Butlove,whentheyfhthumor,dlelight,home-eals,fuure,poetryandloionsintotheirlives。
Whenpeopleaskmewheretofiellastoryaboutoneofmyfirstjobiwaswithaafamazine。Ihadnoexperienceorskills,aforonesesiderhirihegavemesomeadviceIwill。Hesaid,“Gooutintotheworld。Workhardaeonwhatyoulovet。Ifyoubeegood,wewillfindyou。”
That’seoplelookingforlovetowaitforthat“Iwoery”feeling-ait!Doiclesaboutho,seduotizeamate。Don’tworryaboutyourlipstickht,becauseit’snotgoingtomatter。Justliveyourlifewell,takecareofyourself,anddooomuch。Lovewillfindyou。
&uallyiteve28,Imetmyhusband。Atastatioore,Iwasbuyierribbon,andhewaslookingatFilofaxes。Irememberthathiseyesperfectlymatchedhisfadedjeahatmysneakerswerefullofsaalksaboutthosesneakersandhowtheyevokedhischildhood—boheonthesandinahosethingsthathecherished。
HowdidIknowthatitwastruelove?Ourfirstrealdatelastedforninehours:wejust’tstoptalking。Ihadodanmylife,butIcewithhim,perfestep。Ihavelear’slovewhenyoufinallystoveryourtoes。
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Ihaveetocherishwritingthe“Vows”oryIhear,Ihaveproofthatlove,optimism,guts,grace,perfeersandgoodlufact,exist。Love,inmyopinion,isnotafantasy,uffofromanovelsorfairytales。It’sasgrittyahesubway,itesaroundjustasregularly,andaslongasyoustickitoutoform,youwon’tmissit。