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第35章 论出游（第2页）

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我并不反对在参观古迹、地下渠道和欣赏名画时，身边有一个朋友或游伴同行。刚好与前面所说的理由相反，这些事情都与知识和智力有关，有值得深入探讨的价值。这个时候，情感的表达不应该模糊不清，而应该坦**利落，能够交流。索尔兹伯里平原没有什么值得谈论的，但是人们可以怀念草原上的巨石圈，可以从艺术和哲学的角度研究它。和一群人出去游玩时，首先需要考虑的事情是该到什么地方，而独自一个人出游，想到的问题则是路上会遇见什么人。“人的心灵便是旅程的终点站。”我们不必急于到达目的地，我们可以恰如其分地像当地的主人那样介绍艺术品。我曾经带朋友参观牛津，而且比较成功——远远地，我就把那座艺术的殿堂指给他们看，只见“闪闪发光的顶峰和豪华的塔尖”。我赞颂着，院里绿草茵茵，大厅被石墙包围，一股浓郁的博学气息从学院与大厅之间散发出来。——在鲍得里安楼里畅所欲言；在布伦海姆，我的讲解令我们那位头戴用白粉装饰成假发的导游相形见绌，他用小棍在那些美妙绝伦的图画中只点出来一些平凡无奇的地方。对于上面提到的各种理由有一个例外，那就是在国外旅游时，如果没有人陪同，我会觉得有点不踏实。我需要时不时地听点家乡话，英国人有一种思想，就是不由自主地排斥其他国家的风俗和思想，因此要有人与之共鸣才能克服这种不好的习惯。离家越远，这种慰藉就会由原来的奢求慢慢地变成一种渴求与欲望。独行在阿拉伯沙漠，远离亲人和朋友，人们会感到沉闷窒息，看见雅典和古罗马时，不得不承认心中有很多感慨想倾诉，我也不得不承认金字塔真的是宏伟壮观，一个简洁的概念实在不足以描绘。在这种情况下，一切都好像与人平时的观念背道而驰，自己一个人就似乎是一个种族，就像是从社会的躯体上卸下的一只臂膀，除非这时能获得友情和支持——然而有一次我并没有这种迫切的需求与渴望，那是我第一次来到法国，踏上那到处洋溢着欢笑的海滨。加来这个城市充满了新奇和快乐，连那里乱七八糟混杂在一起的声音都很好听。在夕阳的余晖中，港口停靠着一只破旧的船，听着水手们轻轻地歌唱，我丝毫没有觉得是在异国他乡，我只嗅到了人类共有的气息。我漫步在“法兰西满是葡萄藤的山区和飘**着笑声的平原”，顿时精神大振，心情爽朗，我没有目睹人民被锁在专制的王家宝座下、遭受压迫的情形，语言的不同也没有令我手足无措，因为我能领悟所有大画派的语言。但是所有这些都像幻影一样化为乌有了，绘画、英雄、荣耀与自由，所有这些都消失了，只剩下波旁王朝统治下的法兰西人民！——在国外旅行，能感受到在别的地方没有的兴奋，这一点是确定无疑的，虽然这种感觉不能持久，但在当时却让人心情愉快。这种情感与我们普通的日常生活截然不同，因此不能作为交谈或讨论的话题，而且就像梦境和其他某种生存状态一样，它也无法融入我们的日常生活。这是一种生动却转眼即逝的幻觉，我们只有通过努力，才能把正处于现实中的自己变成我们理想中的那样，为了再现那些曾经激动人心的时刻，我们就必须“跳出”现在安逸的生活和千丝万缕的各种关系。人类浪迹天涯的浪漫个性是不能被驯化的。约翰逊博士在谈到曾到国外旅行的人的时候说过，出国旅行并没有提高他们的社交能力。事实上，我们在国外确实度过了一些很美好的时光，从某种意义上讲也很能教育人，可是与我们本质的生活状态却背道而驰，这两者永远无法结合。当我出国旅行时，我们就不再是我们自己，而是也许会变成另外一个更让人羡慕的人。我们离开了朋友，离开了自我。于是诗人才吟唱出如此优雅的诗句：“离开祖国，离开自我。”如果想遗忘那些让人痛苦的思索，最好的办法是暂时离开那能触景伤情的事物以及与之相关的联系，然而只有生养我们的故乡才是我们安身立命的地方。因此，如果我可以再活一次，我就要用今生的时间巡游世界，而在来生，我将永远守候在我的故乡！

&hepleasahingsinthewoingajourIliketogobymyself。Ijoysoaroom；butoutofdoors，natureispanyenoughforme。Iamthenneverlessalohan>

"Thefieldswashisstudy，naturewashisbook。"

Iotseethewitofwalkingandtalkiime。WhenIamiryIwishtovegetatelikethetry。Iamnhedge-rowsandblackcattle。Igooutoftowetthetownandallthatisihosewhoforthispurposeg-pladcarrythemetropoliswiththem。Ilikemoreelbowroomandfewerince。Ilikesolitude，whenIgivemyselfuptoit，forthesakeofsolitude；nordoIaskfor"afriendi，ersolitudeissweet。"

Thesoulofajourneyisliberty，perfectliberty，tothink，feel，do，justasonepleases。Wegoajourobefreeofallimpedimentsandofallioleaveourselvesbehind，muchmetridofothers。ItisbecauseIwantalittlebreathiomuseoers，whereplation"Mayplumeherfeathersagrs，ThatinthevariousbustleofresortWerealltooruffled，aimesimpaired，"thatIabsehetoithoutfeelingatalossthemomebymyself。Insteadofafriendinapost-chaiseorinaTilbury，toexgegoodthingswith，andvarythesamestaletain，fororucewithimpertineheclearblueskyovermyhead，aurfbehmyfeet，awindingroadbeforeme，andthreehours'marer—ahinking！ItishardifIameontheselohs。Ilaugh，Irun，Ileap，Isingforjoy。FromthepointcloudIpluomypastbeihere，asthesun-burntIndianplungesheadlongihatwaftshimtohishenlottenthi;sunkenwralesstreasuries，"burstupo，aofeel，think，andbemyselfagain。Insteadofanawkwardsileemptsatwitordullon-plaeisthatundisturbedsilerefeelikespuions，antitheses，argument，andahanIdo；butIsometimeshadratherbewithoutthem。"Leave，oh，leavemetomyrepose！"Ihavejustnowotherbusinessinhand，whiidletoyou，butiswithme"verystuffofthece。"Isnotthiswildrosesweetwithoutaehisdaisyleaptomyheartsetinitserald？YetifIweretoexplaintoyouthecethathassoeome，youwouldonlysmile。HadIheomyself，aservemetobroodover，fromheretypoint，andfromtheothefar-distanthorizon？Ishouldbebutbadpanyallthatway，andtherefalosaidthatyoumay，whenthemoodyfiteson，walkorrideonbyyourself，andindulgeyourreceives。Butthislookslikeabreaanofothers，ahinkihatyououghttorejoinyourparty。"Outuponsuchhalf-facedfellowship，"sayI。Iliketobeeithereomyself，orehedisposalofothers；totalkorbesilent，towalkorsitstill，tobesociableorsolitary。IleasedwithaionofMr。Cobbett's，thathethought"itabadFrentodrinkourwihourmeals，andthatanEnglishmanoughttodooatime。"SoIottalkandthink，einmelanusingandlivelyversationbyfitsandstarts。

"Letmehaveayway，"saysSter;Wereitbuttoremarkhowtheshadowslehesu;Itisbeautifullysaid；but，inmyopinion，thisualparierfereswiththeinvoluntaryimpressionofthingsuponthemind，andhurtsthese。Ifyouonlyhintwhatyoufeelinakindofdumbshow，itisinsipid；ifyouhavetoexplainit，itismakingatoilofapleasure。Youotreadthebookofbeiuallyputtothetroubleitforthebehers。Iamforthissyhodonajourotheanalytical。Iamttolayinastockofideasthen，andtoexamiomisethemafterwards。Iwanttoseemyvaguenotionsfloatlikethedowlebeforethebreeze，andnottohavethemehebriarsandthornsoftroversy。Foronce，Iliketohaveitallmyownway；andthisisimpossibleunlessyouarealone，orinsupanyasIdo。Ihaveueapointwithawentymilesofmeasuredroad，butnotforpleasure。Ifyouremarkthestofabeanfieldgtheroad，perhapsyourfellow-travellerhasnosmell。Ifyoupointtoadista，perhapsheisshhted，andhastotakeouthisglasstolookatit。Thereisafeeliohecolorofacloud，whichhitsyourfancy，buttheeffectofwhichyouareuoatfor。Thereisthennosympathy，butanuneasygafterit，andadissatisfawhichpursuesyouontheway，andintheendprobablyproducesill-humor。NowIneverquarrelwithmyself，andtakeallmyownsfraillIfiodefeobjes。

Itisyoumaynotbeofatheobjedcesthatpresentthemselvesbeforeyou—thesemayreumberofobjedleadtoassostoodelidrefiobepossiblyuhers。YettheseIlovetocherish，aillfondlyclutchthem，efrtodoso。Togivewaytbeforeparavaganceoraffe；aherhand，tohavetouhismysteryateveryturn，aakeaerestiheendisnotanswered），isatasktowhichfeete"giveitaanding，but;MyoldfriendCe，however，coulddoboth。Hecouldgoodelightfulexplanatorywayoverhillanddaleasummer'sdayaalaoadidaoraPi;Hetalkedfarabovesinging。"IfIyideasinsoundingandflhtperhapswishtohavesomeooadmiretheswellingtheme；orIoret，wereitpossibleformestilltohearhisegvoithewoodsofAll-Fox-den。Theyhad"thatfihemwhichourfirstpoetshad"；andiftheycouldhavebeencaughtbysomerarei，wouldhavebreathedsusasthefollowing：

"Herebewoodsasgreen

Asany，airlikewiseasfresha

AswhensmoothZephyrusplayso

&hecurledstreams，withflowers'asmany

Astheyives，andaschoiy；

Herebealls，andwells，

Arboursrooodbine，ddells；

Choosewherethouwilt，whilstIsitbyandsing，

atherrushestomakemanyaring，

Ffialesoflove，

Hohoebe，huntinginagrove，

FirstsawtheboyEndymion，fromwhoseeyes

&erneverdies；

Howshesoftlyinasleep

Histemplesboundwithpoppy，tothesteep

HeadofoldLatmos，whereshestoopseaight，

Gildiaiher'slight，

Tokisshersweetest。"

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Ihaveogotoseeruis，pipanywithafriendoraparty，butratherthetrary，fortheformerreasoheyareintelligiblematters，aalkingabout。Thesetacit，butunidovert。SalisburyPlaiicism，butStonehengewillbearadistiquarian，picturesque，andphilosophisettingoutonapartyofpleasure，thefirstsiderationaleshallgoto，intakingasolitaryramble，thequestioniswhatweshallmeetwithbytheway。"Themindisitsow;；norareweanxioustoarriveattheendofourjourney。Imyselfdothehonoursilywelltoworksofartandcuriosity。IoookapartytoOxfordwith—showedthemthatseatoftheMusesatadista;Withglisteringspiresandpinna'd—"desthelearhatbreathesfromthegrassyquadraonewallsofhallsahomeintheBodleian；AndatBleesupersededthepowderedethatattendedus，andthatpointedinvainwithhiswandtooiesiures。Asaiontotheab，Ishouldnotfeeltiuringonajourneyiryanion。IshouldwaohearthesoundofmyowhereisaninvoluntaryantipathyinthemindofanEnglishmantnmannersandnotioheassistanpathytocarryitoff。Asthedistaneihisrelief，whichwasatfirstaluxury，beesapassionae。ApersonwouldalmostfeelstifledtofihedesertsofArabiawithoutfriendsandebeallowedtobesomethingihensoroldRomethatclaimstheutteranceofspeedIoyramidsaretoomightyfleplation。Insuchsituations，sooppositetoallone'sordinarytrainofideas，oneseemsaspee'sself，alimbtornofffromsolessohinstantfelloort。—YetIdidhiswantverypressingosetmyfootonthelaughingshoresofFrance。Calaisledwithyahefuse，busymurmuroftheplacewaslikeoilandwiomyears；nordidthemariners'hymn，whigfromthetopofanoldcrazyvesselintheharbour，asthesudown，sendanaliensoundintomysoul。Ioheairofgeneralhumanity。Iwalkedover"thevine-coveredhillsandgayregionsofFra;eredsatisfied；feofmanwasnotahefootofarbitrarythrones：Iwasatne，forthatofallthegreatschoolsofpaintiome。Thewholeisvanishedlikeashade。Pictures，heroes，glory，freedoms，allarefled，theBourbonsandtheFrehereisundoubtedlyasensatiisthatistobehaditismorepleasihanlasting。Itistooremotefromourhabitualassostobeaontopicofdiscourseorreferend，likeadreamoraeofexistepietoourdailymodesoflife。Itisaamomentaryhalluaoexgeouractualforouridealidentity；ahepulseofouroldtransportsreviveverykee"jump"allourpresentfortsands。Ourromantierantcharaottobedomesticated。Dr。Johnsotlefothefacilitiesofversationinthosewhohadbeenabroad。Infact，thetimeehdelightful，andiructive；butitappearstobecutoutofoursubstantialdhtexistenevertojoinkindlyontoit。Wearenotthesame，butanother，andperhapsmoreenviableindividual，allthetimeweareoutofourowntry。Wearelosttoourselves，aswellasourfriesomewhatquaintlysings，"OutofmydmyselfIgo。"Thosewhowishtetpainfulthoughts，dowelltoabsentthemselvesforawhilefromthetiesarecallthem；butwebesaidonlytofulfillourdestihatgaveusbirth。Ishouldonthisatlikewellenoughtospendthewholeofmylifeintravelingabroad，ifIywhereborrowaospehome！