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第14章 快乐由你决定 A Simple Truth about Happiness（第1页）

第14章快乐由你决定ASimpleTruthaboutHappiness

佚名Anonymous

Iarticularlyhappydlikemostteenagers，Ireveledinmyangst。Oneday，however，itoethatIwastakingtheeasywayout。Anyonecouldbeunhappy;ittoeoreffort。Truegelayinstrugglingtobehappy。

&hatwehavetoinessesasomanypeople。Weassumeit'safeelingthatesasaresultofgoodthingsthatjusthappentous，thingsoverwhichwehavelittleornotrol。

Buttheoppositeistrue:happinessislargelyunderourtrol。Itisabattletobewagedandobea>

Toachieveahappierlife，it'sooverblingblocks，threeof>

parisonwithOthers

Mostofuspareourselveswithahinkishappier-arelative，anaeonewebarelykayoungmanwhostruckmeasparticularlysucdhappy。Hespokeofhisloveforhisbeautifulwifeaers，andofhisjoyatbeingaradiotalk-showhostinaemberthinkinghewasohoselueverythilesslyright。

&artedtalkingabouttheI。Heblesseditsexisteoldme，becausehecouldlookupinformationonmultiplesclerosis-theterriblediseaseafflighiswife。Ifeltlikeafoolforassumingnothinguedinhislife。

ImagesofPerfe

Almostanyofushaveimagesofhowlifeshouldbe。Theproblem，ofcourse，isthatonlyrarelydopeople'sjobs，spousesandliveuptotheseimaginedideals。

Here'sapersonalexample:Nooneinmyfamilyhadeverdivorced。Iassumedthatmarriagewasforlife。SowhenmywifeandIdivorcedthreeyearsafterthebirthofourson，myworld。Iwasafailureinmyowneyes。

Ilaterremarriedbutfidedtomywife，FranthatIp;apos;tshakethefeelingthatmyfamilylifehadfailed。Sheaskedmeithourfamilynow（whicludedherdaughterfromaprevieandmyson）。Ihadtoadmitthat，asidefromthepaihmysononlyhalfthetime（myex-wifeaody），ourfamilylifewaswonderful。

"Thenos;tyoucelebrateit?"sheasked。

That'swhatIdecidedtodo。ButfirstIhadtogetridoftheimageofa"perfeily。

"Missi;Syndrome

&ivewayofsabotagiolookatsomethiedoflaos;slikelookingupatafileddtratingonthespacewhereoileismissing。Asabaldma;Wheeraroom，allIseeishair。"

I'vespeudyinghappiness，ahemostsignifip;apos;vedrawnisthis:thereislittlecorrelatiohep;apos;slivesandhoytheyare。Amoment'srefleakethisobvious。eoplewhohavehadarelativelyeasylifeyetareessentiallyunhappy。Andhohavesufferedagreatdealbutgenerallyremainhappy。

&secretisgratitude。Allhappyperateful。Ungratefulpeopleotbehappy。Wetendtothinkthatbeingunhappyleadspeopletoplain，butit'struertosaythatplaiopeoplebeingunhappy。

Thesedsecretisrealizingthathappinessisaby-produethiobvioussourcesarethosepursuitsthatgiveourlivespurpose-anythingfromstudyioplayihemorepassiohemorehappinessos;relikelytoexperience。